Coming Home
by GellyBean4
Summary: Bella has moved on from her past. But what if the past is chasing her?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

**All Twilight matters are owned by Stephanie Meyer. I just borrow them and put them in nice clothes.**

I stared at the screen and read:

_Edward Cullen, latest seen with model Victoria (former girlfriend of James Temper) coming out of "East34", nightclub in downtown L.A._

_Cullen has been known to get around and just this week he has been spotted with 3 different ladies.  
Way to go Cullen!_

Yeah Perez was a dick but he loved Edward Cullen. Everybody loved Edward Cullen. The past tense applied to me. I used to love him. _Or so I kept telling myself._

I clicked the page shut and went about my work. I had some photos to work on and if I got busy I wouldn't obsess with the gossip concerning my ex-boyfriend and current obsession-object Edward Cullen.

Ok, first chappie. I got more but wanted to see the response for this one.

Whattadaya think?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

All belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just borrow it and play.

"Alice!"

_Stupid nosy pixie. Where was she when you needed her?_

"Alice!" I yelled again.

"Yes boss?" her blackhaired little head peaked in to my office.

"Don't call me boss. You are supposed to have a meeting with me in here about the models clothes. You're late. Again." I sighed

She waved her hand dismissively as she sat down in the chair in front of my desk.

"I'm a creative spirit. When I'm in the zone I lose track of time. Sorry Bella."

"Yeah you know who else uses that argument? Stoners. Should we start random drugtest in the office Alice?" I smirked at her

"No, no! Let's just continue with the meeting!" She smiled sweetly and I proceeded with the meeting.

After two hours we had everything for the weeks photoshoots planned out. I loved being this organized while Alice hated it. But the planning helped her pick outfits or at least keep within the same theme as the magazine wanted for the shoot.

I was a photographer for Rock n Fab magazine, a new Rock magazine with fashion and articles about music. I liked my job, it gave me freedom financially and my boss Rosalie Hale was one of my closest friends. Me and Alice helped her out starting the magazine and we ran it together.

All three of us were from the small city of Forks, now living the high life in L.A.

I loved it, don't get me wrong, I've been here for the past 2 years.

As a photographer you deal with fun things. As models crying when they hate the picture you've taken. Or them throwing up after showing food after a shoot. Or the most common one, falling asleep or fainting on shoots.

Yeah life is great on the other side… Annie Leibovitz was lying through her teeth about this life.

I loved my job though. I had my two best friends as a co worker and boss. Rosalie Hale was the executive director of this fine establishment and Alice Cullen was my designer and assistant. The magazine was doing good although it was fairly fresh meat on the market. Rosalie was looking in to the option of expanding but that was her part of the business.

So about Edward. I met Edward in high school, he came to visit his cousins Alice and Emmet one summer when I was 16 and he was 18. Right before he went out to collage.

We met, we fell in love and it was the best summer ever. We hung out, told each other we loved one another. He was my first kiss, my first love and right before he went to college I gave him my virginity. It was beautiful he took care of me afterwards and I fell asleep in his arms.

But not one time during the summer did we discuss what was going to happened with our relationship after he went away. And we never saw eachother again.

I moved on. My life didn't stop just because Edward went away but then he blew up in to stardom and he didn't even finish college before he became a famous rockstar. He became a constant reminder of that summer. I had deliberately avoided him during the years. I had my fantasy about him and that was fine. As I said, I moved on, had boyfriends, lovers, I finished college, landed this sweetass gig and here I was. I did never love like that again though. I mean first love and everything, it kind of haunts you.

I searched the web for gossip about him, I read the interviews and saw the pictures. But leaving him as a fantasy was for the best in my opinion.

Obviously there was a small she-devil that did not agree.


	3. Chapter 3

**Steph Meyer owns twilight. I just play with Edward **

Alice came barging through the doors speaking loudly on the phone. Making sure I didn't miss anything.

"But of course Bella will be here Edward, she is the one taking the photos!...uh hoh…..uhoh… Oh she'll be super glad to see you! I've missed you as well mr too famous to visit his cousin!"

"Alice…." I gave her a warning glare but the demon ignored me and kept talking.

"Oh she would love to take the pictures! I know she will! Bella you would love to take Edwards picture right?" She looked at me with a smile signed by the devil.

_Oh it's on demon lady!_

"No Alice I would not like to take the pictures! Angela my intern will be taking them." Ha! Shove that down your pipe and smoke it! I also gave her the middle finger for emphasis.

"She's joking Edward. I'll call your assistant and set up a time that is convenient for you. Yes, I'll make sure she'll be here. Bye!"

Alice pressed the end button and the she demon stare was on.

"Now you listen to me Isabella Marie Swan! Edward is coming here for an article that I set up! You are not ruining this for any of us! This will be a big boost for the sales and if you don't give mr famous what he wants I'll have to tell Rose that you are not being very professional!" She said this with such venom I thought she had grown fangs.

I huffed but admitted defeat.

"Fine Alice. I'll take his photos. But that's all. This is business and I don't shit where I eat!" with that I stomped of in to my office.

_Damn, stupid little pixie witch!_

She was always trying to set me back up with Edward, calling it fate and destiny and written in the stars bullcrap! I haven't seen him in 7 years and I was perfectly happy with that.  
I sat in my chair with a loud thump and screamed in frustration.

"No screaming in the world is going to help you missy!" I heard Alice yell from the other side of my office door. I threw a stapler at the door, imagining Alices head there instead.

7 years of avoidance was coming to bite me in the ass.

**Go ahead! Make my day! Leave a rewiew. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Steph owns all twilight. **

**Soooo….Are we ready to meet Edward? I've met him, he's hot.**

**This is a long one…. Very unlike Gelly.**

"_You are so beautiful Bella. I have written songs about you, about how pretty you are, and how funny you are."_

_Edward was lying next to me in the grass of our meadow and stroked my cheek. He always said the most beautiful things, he made me feel so pretty._

"_Edward…" I whispered "Kiss me…"_

_He sucked in a breath and put a hand on my cheek._

"_Bella… I've waited for you. I will always wait for you." And he kissed me… slowly, sensually. He made me feel these emotions I never felt before and I kissed him back…._

Beep….beeep….beeeeeeep….

Goddam this alarm to freaking hell!

Ever since I found out the date for Edwards photoshoot the dreams about him came back. They were always flashbacks to our summer together.

The time with Edward changed me, I was so shy and plain and afraid of life but he made me want to live. I had originally planned to go to WSU but instead I went to NYU to go and study at the best school I could get in to.

And today, 7 years later I was going to meet him. I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't eat breakfeast or have any coffe. I could just sit in my office and pretend to work for the first half of my day. Edward was scheduled to come in after lunch, how I was supposed to eat I had no clue.

Alice the little evil dwarf came in with the biggest smile.

"What do you want megawatt?" I asked in an irritated tone

Her smile faltered and she stopped and looked at me

"You're supposed to be happy to see Edward again. This isn't right… What's the matter with you grumpella?"

"Alice, you are twisting my arm to meet my summer fling from 7 years ago. My first love, my first kiss, my first lover. I wanted to keep it a fantasy but you had to throw it in my face! Excuse me for wanting to make my own decisions!"

Ok I knew her heart was in the right place but she is pushing matters that don't concern her.

She waved it of with a flick of her hand

"Oh Bella, you're such a grouch. How are you ever going to be together again if you never meet?"

I stared at her as if she grew a second nose on the forehead.

"Alice, I am NOT getting back together with Edward. We were kids!"

"Oh Bella. Just sush! Go and set up the camera, the background is set, Angela is waiting for your instructions."

And with those final words she was gone. If I hadn't known Alice pretty well I would have thought she was imagined. Someone so small and annoying can't be real. And she…evaporates from rooms or some shit. That's how quick the little pixie is.

I went out and talked to Angela who was hyper nervous for some reason. I just rolled my eyes at her and gave her instructions how to set the lights and cameras.

"I thought we could do some shots on the motorcycle and then some shots of him smoking by the window in that old chair. Usually the natural light is the best light."

Angela nodded and started working with the lights as I supervised. As I was double checking everything she had done I heard Alice scream and some of the other staff oooh and aaaah. Great I guess Edward was here.

_You can do this Bella. Do not swoon, he is not swoon worthy! Not a call, not a letter nothing after all those love declarations. Do not give him that satisfaction!_

After the internal peptalk I turned from the camera and faced an entering Alice with a hot, sexy Edward in tow. I heard Angela sigh next to me.

"Edward you've met Bella." Alice gave the introductions.

"Yes, I believe I have. In a different lifetime, but we've met." He looked amused and had a wicked gleam in those jade colored eyes of his.

_Stupid, pretty boy with the lickable jaw!_

I shook his hand and settled for a simple acknowledgment "Edward."  
That strange electric current that I felt back then was still present. I didn't flinch although Edward looked a little shocked.

I turned to Angela "This is my assistant Angela, she will be helping me with the shoot. If you follow Alice she will give you the clothes we would like you to wear."

"Angela, how lovely to meet you." He shook her hand and she whimpered.

_Oh very professional Angie._

"This is my assistant Jane, she has some questions I believe. You two can talk while I change." And with that he turned on his heel and left. I turned to Jane who had a very curious look in her eyes. I shook her hand and talked business with her. She was very supportive of our chosen scenery, since it was playing along with Edwards "Bad Boy" image.

As I stood and adjusted the sets on the camera I felt him behind me. I froze.

"Where would you want me Miss Swan?" he asked seductively in my ear. I wanted to explode but the mental control I had practiced for so long was coming to good use. I would not let him affect me. I was not his goddamn toy!

"If you lean against the bike that would be great. Thanks." I did an internal happy dance for not giving in to his games.

He sauntered over to the bike and I went in to my zone and did what I had to do. It was hard since Alice had dressed him in a black leather jacket and some faded jeans and a white t-shirt. Very James Dean and very fuckhot.

"Alice, I think I got the bike pictures done. Do you want Edward to change or do you want him in this for the next scene?"

"Try a couple with this on and then he can change." Alice looked deep in thought. Yeah we were out in our zone. We worked great together like this.

"Good idea." I murmurmed.

"Edward, could you sit in that chair please? Do you smoke or should we get you some herb cigarettes?" I asked.

He smiled a brilliant smile and laughed. "No I smoke, didn't think there would be any use to me smoking but you proved me wrong Miss Swan."

Jane came running with his cigarettes and I mumbed "I usually do Mr Cullen." Obviously I wasn't as quiet as I had hoped because he smirked at me and I heard Angela stifle a giggle.

I shrugged and started preparing the cameras.

He sat in the chair as if he was bored to death, and blew smoke rings in the air. The light from the window gave some nice effects and I started snapping shots. He was just as beautiful as always. His copperhair unruly and his beautiful jaw. I didn't want to think about what I had done to that jaw. But of course I did imagine and I blushed scarlet. Thank god I was behind the camera.

After a couple of minutes Edward finished his first cigarette and I instructed him to pose without one and then I sent him to change.

When he came back I wanted to strangle Alice. I sent her deathglares and she scurried off and hid behind a wall. _Oooh she was going to get it!_

Edward in all his beautiful glory stood before me in a tux and a champagne bottle. The tux was messed up a bit as if he was coming back from an all night party. I had a thing for men in tuxes. A very big thing.

I instructed Edward to pose and had Angela take some photos while I composed myself. I imagined all the ways I could get back at Alice and when I had a solid plan I smiled and took back the camera from Angela.

"Very good Ang, you are getting better every day!" I smiled at her and she blushed and mumbled a thank you.

I snapped a couple more and gave Edward some pose instructions and then I was done.

"Thank you Edward. I think we've finished."

"My pleasure Bella." He said and stood up. Alice led him out of the room and me and Angela packed up. I took the memorycard in to the office to check the photos there.

This had been one hell of a day….

**AN: So whaddaya think? **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I don't know if anyone even reads this. If so, please leave a review. I got like 8 more chapters ready, but I don't know if I should post if no one even likes it.**

**Steph Meyer owns twilight, I own this hot piece of ass.**

**CH5**

"See these are yours. You did great Angie. I'm proud of you."

Me and Angela were looking through the pictures of Edward and discussing which one we would convert to black and white and use in the article.

"Wow Bella, he's so dreamy. How could you be so professional around him?" Angela asked.

I snorted. "It's just looks Angela. Beauty is more than skin deep,"

A knock came through the door and I called the person on the other side in.

Edward was standing and leaning against the doorframe.

"I was hoping for a word with Miss Swan if that's ok."

Angela blushed and half ran out of the room. I rolled my eyes at her and continued to look at the pictures. "Sure Edward come in."

He came in and closed the door behind him. I frowned at that and told him to keep the door open.

"I would rather have the door closed for this." He answered and it stirred something in me. The butterflies that I used to feel in my stomach around him were dusting of their wings and coming to life.

I tried for professional "What can I help you with Mr Cullen?"

"Mr Cullen huh? It's kind of hot when you call me that." He smirked.

"What do you want Edward?" I was getting annoyed with his mindgames.

"I wanted to talk… to see how you were. You know… catch up." He looked uncertain all of a sudden as he sat down in the chair in front of my desk.

I sighed. "Well Edward if you were interested you would have called somewhere along the line. Let's not pretend we know each other and stroll down memory lane. I'm working and I don't have time for social visits."

He rested his jaw on his hand and his long beautiful fingers were stroking his chin.

"So you hate me that much? I mean nothing to you?"

"Must everything be about you Edward? You moved on, I moved on. Case closed. Now please…" This conversation was dangerous. It could hurt me in the long run so I tried to brush it off.

"What if I didn't move on?" he asked.

I threw my hands in the air, exasperated "Oh for the love of God Edward! What are you trying to prove? 7 years later? Leave the past alone, it's a lovely memory of mine and I would like to keep it that way. Can we act as adults and please change the subject?"

He run his hands through his hair and sighed heavily.

"Bella, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"

I gaped. I gave him the goldfish open mouth gape. Big freaking O.

"What in the hell…. Why would I go to dinner with you Edward? No I won't go to dinner with you."

He looked pained for a second and said

"I would like to talk to you. Please, I've missed you, just let me take you to dinner and if you after this never want to see me again I'll leave you alone."

"Edward. You have left me alone for seven years. Please let's just resume that. I won't go to dinner with you." I was getting agitated. "And you've missed me? What kind of crap is that? You don't call, write or think about me and now you miss me? Please just leave my office."

I stood and pointed for the door.

"Bella, this isn't over. I'll call you." With that he stood and walked for the door.

"I'd rather you didn't. And there is nothing to end so just get out."

He gave me an angry look and closed the door so hard behind himself that my frames shook.

"Son of a….! AAAAAAAAH!" I screamed out in frustration.

"Bella is everything alright?" Angela came in through the door.

"Everything is just peachy… Angela tell Alice and Rose I'm taking the rest of the day of. I need to go to the gym."


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Wohoo! In celebration of my first review I give you chapter 6.  
Hope you like.**

**Steph Meyer owns all twilight. I just stop making Edward sparkle.**

The gym was my favorite place to blow of some steam. I ran a couple of miles, I beat the crap out of the punching bag and then I went home. All the while thinking that Edward was the most idiotic guy on this planet.

7 years later he figures out he _misses me_. Well fuck you very much Edward Cullen, I am not some toy to pick up after all this time.

And Alice. _Don't get me started on Alice!_ I was fuming fucking mad at her. Why would she do this? I had 10 missed calls from her and some voice messages and texts. All wondering where I was.

She would have to wait. I was not ready to face her. Anger was good. Anger kept my head clear. If I would have been any weaker I would be sitting in some fancy restaurant right about now, being played by Edward Cullen.

I got a good night sleep and went in to the office the next day.

Angela waved timidly and I smiled at her, she didn't do anything wrong.

"If Alice comes tell her to knock first." I told Angela.

A few minutes later there was a knock. "Come in Alice."

"Bella, what happened. Edward was storming out of your office and he was so mad…"

"Please, just don't talk about Edward. I couldn't give a bigger shit about that asshole." I pinched the bridge of my nose and leaned back in my chair.

"Bella…are you ok?"

I turned and faced her, anger written all over my face.

"No Alice, I am not ok! I am scorching mad." I stood up and started pacing the office. First he shows up and you're all puppy dog happy and I could see what you were doing Alice! Dressing him up in that tux! And then he comes in here and asks me to dinner. TO DINNER Alice, after 7 fucking years he wants dinner because he misses me. What a fucking load of crap!"

"Bella I'm sorry, I thought you missed him and would like to see him. Sometimes you need a little push…." She trailed of and looked remorseful.

"Alice, yes I need some pushes sometimes, this was not that time. I miss my first love, the fun we had. But we were kids Alice! We are grown ups now. Would you please let me just keep that memory unsoiled?"

"I'm sorry Bella. I really am."

I sighed and sat down again. "Let's just go over the pictures."

The rest of the day I put myself and Angela to work, I had to keep busy in order to not to think about Edward – the big clusterfuck of 2010.

Right before I went home I went by my office to grab my bag when I noticed a big bouquet of flowers on my desk. Curious as I was I smelled the lilacs and picked up the card. As I read it I gasped and wanted to puke.

_Bella_

_These are for you_

_Please forgive me_

_For everything_

_E_

The lousy good for nothing…. I threw the card away and put the flowers on Angelas desk. At least she would be happy about them.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thanks to my first reviewers! If you don't review anonmously i could reply. Instead i give you the next chapter and hope you like it.**

**Step Meyer owns all twilight.**

The next day was a Friday. I loved Fridays. We usually went out to some bar and got drunk and stupid. As I came in to the office with a smile on my face the smile quickly faded when there were more flowers on my desk.

_Bella,_

_I don't know if you got the flowers_

_Please have dinner with me._

_E_

This was just getting ridiculous.

I called Alice and told her to please call Edward and tell him to stop sending flowers.

She agreed to relay the message eve though I could hear her dying of curiousity.

Later that afternoon as I was finishing up in the office my officephone rang.

"Bella Swan speaking."

"So you didn't like my flowers?" a velvety smooth voice said.

"Edward."

"What exactly don't you like about the flowers?" he asked.

I clenched my fists and said as evenly as possible

"That they are from you." I heard him gasp.

"Now, you see there are millions of other women that would love to receive flowers from me."

"So send the flowers to those girls! Goodbye Edward!"

And I hung up.

I continued with the last minute tweaks I had to do when the phone rang again. This time it was my cell phone.

"Hello?" I didn't recognize the number.

"I apologize, that was rude. I just…. I just don't know how to act around you." It was Edward again.

"That's a lot of apologizing you're up to. The easiest way to act around me is to stay away from me."

"Bella just please, a dinner and I'll stop. Just talk to me please."

"I am talking to you right now. Please just leave me alone Edward."

"I….i…. I can't do that."

"Yes you can. You've done it for 7 years."

"Bella just…." I could hear him sigh "I just want to see you. Just one dinner. And then I'll leave you alone if you don't want anything to do with me."

"I don't want anything to do with you now." I said as evenly as I could.

"Just a dinner for heaven's sake, please, I'm not above begging here!"

I was getting sick of this.

"One dinner and after the dinner you'll leave me alone?"

"If that is what you want." He said through clenched teeth

"Fine! One dinner!"

"Really?" I could hear the disbelief in his voice

"Yeah if that's what it takes."

"Wow… ok… uuum. I'll have Jane email you the details. How does tomorrow sound?" he sounded like a kid on Christmas.

"Tomorrow's fine, the sooner the better."

"Bella…..just… please. I…."

"Well Mr eloquent songwriter. Running out of words? Just have Jane email me. Goodbye Edward!" and then I hung up on him again.

I sat back in the chair and blew out a breath.

What the hell had I gotten myself into?


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Well since I got five story alerts I thought that warranted a new chapter! I know, I'm sweet that way. Lemme know what you think!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight.**

As I strolled in to the bar where Alice, Rose and Ang were waiting I ordered a cosmo by the bar.

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed. She was getting superdrunk.

"Hey girls." I gave each a kiss on the cheek. Rose gave me a hug and whispered in my ear "I heard you had e tough week. Do you need Emmet to kick someones ass?"

I grimaced. Emmet was like my big brother and he and Rose took good care of me and Alice.

"He would have to kick his cousin. That would be rude. I think I can handle it right now." I smiled as I saw her eyebrows raise but she remained silent. For now. Knowing Rose, the silence usually meant trouble, but I was just so tired of it all that I chose to just ignore it.

"Mojiiiitooooooos!" Alice was way past drunk. I'd have to call Jasper soon or else we would be banned from yet another bar.

"Alice, let's take it easy with the drinks, kej hun?"

"Oh heell noooo! We're partying our asses of tonight baby!" and with that she jumped of the chair and went to the dance floor.

_Great. Gotta love drunk Alice. She makes your feet hurt the day after…_

"SMACK MY BITCH UP! SMACK MY BITCH UP!"

"Alice I am going to fucking kill you!" I screamed as I searched for the phone. Alice had a habit of changing her ringtone on my phone everytime she was drunk so that I would get a nice surprise the morning after our debauchery.

Because Alice the evil fairy had made a deal with the devil and in return she never got hungover. Like ever. The little shit could drink her weight in tequila and still be chipper and all sunshine the morning after.

_We tried that once. Didn't work out so well for the rest of us._

"I am going to put my foot so far up your ass that you will be tasting my funky feet smell for a week you sadistic little bitch!"

"Uuuum…Bella is that you?" I heard a voice very much like Edwards and nothing like Alice.

"Edward what are you doing on Alices phone?"

"I'm not…this is my phone. Bella is everything alright? You sound weird."

I took a moment to clarify his statement and when I did indeed see that he was calling from his phone I sighed heavily and mumbled death threats aimed at Alice.

"Stupid, backstabbing, little hoebag…."

"I'm sorry what?" Edward was sounding confused.

"What do you want Edward? Why are you calling at this ungodly hour?"

"Eeehm Bella, it's three in the afternoon. Jane emailed you and didn't get a response so I thought I'd call to make sure you weren't backing out of our dinner."

"WHAT?" I shot up out of bed like my ass was on fire. Three in the afternoon? I hadn't slept that long after a night out since college. Not even then! Oh lord… What did we do last night?

"I'll take it you don't recall what you said when you drunkdialed me last night?" he asked in an amused tone.

"Edward if this is your idea of a cruel joke I'll post your number on Perez."

"No, no joke! You called me… to inform me that I wouldn't be getting lucky tonight." He snickered.

Oh, now I remember! I had a long discussion with Alice about why I shouldn't sleep with Edward again.

"Yeah… sorry about that. We tend to be overly sexual when drunk. So what time and what place are we doing this dinner thing?"

"I'll have to keep that in mind… I thought you could come to my house. I'll send a car for you at about 6:30. Will that work for you?" he was way too innocent saying this. I knew he thought I would object to eating at his house. But I actually thought it was better.

"Sure, it's better than having Perez draw a penis near my ass tomorrow morning."

Edward howled in laughter "God I don't remember hearing anything this funny for a very long time."

"See you then Edward." And then I hung up again. He was trying to schmooz his way back in by being charming.

Well I got news for you Edward Cullen! Bella Swan is no spring chicken when it came to flirting….

**AN: As I have said before, I got more chapters ready. I'm just waiting for some response. Since the three people that reviewed liked it I'll post another one really soon. Maybe even tonight…. Latest tomorrow.**

**GB.**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Ok, you guys deserve another chapter. And I love the attention. It's a win win situation really.**

**This one's for ****my last review that brought a big fat grin to my face. Thank you!**

**Steph Meyer owns All Twilight. I just break Edwards heart and make fun of him….**

The freaking car was huge. And his freaking house was huge.

I wondered if he was overcompensating...

_Anyway, let's get this over with._

If I was being honest with myself, which I seldom was, I was looking forward to this dinner. I had missed Edward, but I wanted to keep him at an arm's length so he couldn't hurt me again.

But I was hoping to get him out of my system so I could move on.

I got out of the car in his three story mansion, it was white with huge windows at the top floor. I liked it. As I was walking up the steps, about to ring the doorbell, the door flung open and there was a very flustered Edward.

"Hi" he said with a grin as big as his head.

"Hi" I grumbled.

He motioned me in and I took in the gigantic house. The hallway led to a foyer with huge steps going up to the next floors. At my right I could see the kitchen and at my left I saw the dining room. All set up for a romantic dinner for two.

_Yeah, not gonna happened buddy_

"Can I take your coat?"

"I don't have a coat Edward. It's like an oven out there."

"Yes of course, I'm sorry… I'm just nervous." He stuttered

I arched an eyebrow and wanted to laugh at this but held my pokerface.

"You make me nervous Bella" he whispered and took a step toward me and caressed my arm from my elbow down to my fingers.

I took a step back to end the electrifying and terrifying contact.

"What's for dinner? I'm starving." I said in my effort to change the subject.  
He looked kind of perplexed and stunned for a moment but regained his composure and dragged me in to the kitchen.

"For tonight I have prepared mushroom ravioli with a spinach salad and some wonderful wine. I remember you being a vegetarian…" He went all nervous and fidgety. I rolled my eyes at this and answered "I'm not anymore, but it's fine. I'm sure it's lovely." He looked kind of apologetic which gave me an egoboost.

"Please sit down in the dining room and I will prepare the rest. Would you like some wine? While you wait."

"Eeeeh. No thank you. I think I'll skip the wine entirely. I'll take some coke if you got it or else water will be lovely." Drinking alcohol 3 hours after sobering up did not sound as a good idea.

"Sure, it's in the fridge…" he sounded disappointed.

_You won't get me drunk and unguarded Cullen. You can keep your junk in your trunk! _

God I had to develop a filter for my inner monologues.

Dinner was nice, the food was lovely and conversation was stiff. Edward kept asking questions about Forks, my parents, my school, my job and I answered as politely and as evasive as I could.

When I was finished I stood up and Edward got all panic looking.

"Can I please use your bathroom?"

"Yes of course. It's upstairs to the left. First door on the left. Have you finished your food?" He stood up with me. Yeah a complete gentleman.

_That doesn't call for 7 years. Dickhead._

I went about my business, checked myself in the mirror, gave myself a peptalk and went downstairs in search for Edward. I was wrapping this shit up. Nothing productive had come out of the evening, it was more like a bad date. I could leave now with my memories, my pride and my heart intact.

I found him downstairs in the kitchen preparing a tray of coffee and cookies.

_Damn that man and my love for coffee and cookies!_

"Follow me please" was all he said. I followed him through the dining room in to a large living room with a big white sofa in front of a fire place.  
Yeah he was probably trying to get me in the mood or some shit.

"Please Bella, can I say something."

"It's your home Edward you can probably say whatever you want." I sighed.

_Oh boy buckle up, here we go. I should have escaped after the bathroom break!_

He sat down next to me on the sofa, a little too close for my liking so I backed up a little.

"Bella…" he whispered and looked pained. "Bella I am truly sorry if I hurt you. I was doing what I thought was for the best at that time. I loved you, I still love you. _I have always loved you_!" he reached out for my hand, I tried to snatch it away but he was faster.

The feel of my hand in his sent me flying. It was like electricity was being wired through my body.

"I did what I did because I didn't want you to be restricted, I wanted you to have the whole high school and college experience without me as someone who would drag you down and limit you." He squeezed my hand and tried to catch my eyes but I refused to look up.

"Bella please, I just wanted you to be happy love. I have never stopped thinking about you, I never stopped loving you. I left you alone because you were not ready for the love I wanted to give you. You were young and I knew, I knew at eighteen that you were it for me. You are the one Bella."

I was feeling nauseous, this was too much. I had to block it out somehow. I had to get the hell out of there. All my internal alarms were screaming and blinking bloody red.

_Abort, abort! Get the hell out soldier!_

I took a big breath, straightened out my face into an emotionless pokerface and said as icily as possible.

"If you have said what you wanted to say it's my turn."

His face fell and he slowly nodded. I think he knew what was coming.

"If you loved me, you would have treated me as an equal Edward. Even at 16 I wasn't some infatuated starstruck idiot. I had feelings too. But you made the decision for us and now here we are. I moved on, live with your decision."

I snatched my hand back and stood up. He quickly rose to his feet too.

"I have honored my end of the deal, I had dinner with you. Now please leave me alone. I would like to go home now."

He started pulling his hair with both hands. "Bella love, please! Don't do this…"

"I didn't do anything Edward. You did. You wanted me to move on and I did. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get home." I stared him right in the eyes and he just held his breath and stared up at the ceiling. He gave me a short nod which I took as confirmation. I turned on my heel and started to leave the room with Edward hot on my heel.

As I was in the foyer I took my bag and opened the door.

I turned slightly and took a last look over my shoulder "Goodbye Edward. Thank you for dinner." He stood in the middle of the foyer.

The last thing I heard before the door closed was "Bella please, I can't live without you…."

**AN: Yeah Bellas a bad biaa***tch but we get her right?  
Have you ever had your heart broken?**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Thank you to katizi that helps me see things I'm too blind to see. **

**If you like the flashback below then thank her. **

**Now let's continue, and your first look inside Edwards head….**

**If you like, then review. **

**Steph Meyer owns all twilight. I borrow it and play.**

**Chapter 10**

The ride home was a mess. I didn't know if I should be sad, mad or just shrug it off. It mostly hurt. He had said all the things I wanted to hear for the first 2 years. I would have taken him back in a heartbeat but he didn't come back. Because he did it for my own good? What the hell kind of reasoning was that?

I didn't need a father, I wanted a lover, a partner, a friend.

And I was too young? Who the hell did he think he was? If I was too young then he should have left me alone from the first place.

_Lousy good for nothing… mother….piiiiip!_

Ok, so anger was a good approach. I was mad again. I never used to get mad, I was a quiet photographer enjoying life until that bastard made an encore appearance in my life. Did I ask for this? No, Alice and Edward took these decisions for me! God damn those two!

As I got home I texted Alice and Rose to tell them I was ok and safe and to never talk about Edward again.

I was going to get him out of my system once and for all.

EPOV

I fell to my knees as the door closed behind the only woman I had ever loved. Would ever love.

I had royally fucked this evening up. I should have taken it slow but I just couldn't stop myself once she was in front of me, her hand in my. That delicious chemistry between us.

What the fuck had I done. I had made a bargain with the devil, now she wouldn't want anything to do with me. I had hurt her and myself all those years ago. But what I had said was the truth.

_I was upstairs in the guest bedroom of my aunt and uncles beautiful home. Unpacking some things, stringing my guitar and just chilling. _

_I liked spending time with my realitives, they were a wonderful family and showed much more open affection than my parents did. Elizabeth and Edward Cullen Sr. were great parents, they gave me everything I needed and wanted but they didn't understand my passion for music. They had hoped I would be a concert pianist, a doctor, a lawyer or something else prestigious. I had been accepted to the musical program at NYU and they didn't hold back their disappointment._

_I kept stringing and strumming the guitar when I felt something stirring. I felt drawn out of my room. Like when your home alone and you feel someones presence. I could feel something…_

_I put the guitar down and took the stairs to the bottom floor. In the hallway stood Alice and a girl, dark brown hair. Her back was to me as she was taking her coat of. Everything was moving in slow motion as I felt that the pull that had led me down here was to her. She turned around and I gasped when our eyes met. It was like a light inside my heart exploded. As if it was awaken from a dark slumber and the light she gave illuminated every dark corner. _

_And I knew. This was her. She was IT._

_My knees almost gave out as I saw her take a quick breath. She felt it too…_

_Alice gave the girl a puzzled look and turned to see what had caught her attention. _

"_Oh Edward! Hi!"_

_When she didn't get a response she tried again. "This is Bella, my best friend. Bella this is my cousin that I told you about, Edward."_

_As I descended the stairs and looked at her curiously I stuck my hand out to shake hers. She reciprocated and as our hands met this weird electric current surged through my hand and in to the rest of my body. Bella looked at our joined hands and tried to pull away but I gripped her hand tighter. _

_This was the weirdest thing that had ever happened to me but on the other hand it felt oddly familiar. As if my body, heart and soul knew her. As if the missing piece to the puzzle was finally there. It was like coming home…_

Even then, as a 18-year old pimple faced dork I knew that she was the one for me. I could feel it in my bones, in my heart. I belonged to her and she belonged to me. I tried to be slow, she was still so young. And when it came time for me to leave I did what I thought was best. I gave her a clean break. She would get to move on with other guys, party with her friends, get drunk and stupid and follow her dreams instead of following me. I knew she would if I had asked her, I would have done the same for her.

But I couldn't ask that of her. I wanted to give her every experience possible before I tied her to me forever. Because she was my forever.

When I met Bella I thought the world had stopped moving. Everything started evolving around her, she was like the sun and everything in me was depending on her, if she left the sun would set, the dark would eat me and eventually kill me.

I just knew. It was like my inner compass just kept pointing to her, I couldn't stay away. And yet I knew I would hurt her. I would have to leave.

After I left, everything I did, every song I wrote was for her. At first I tried to dope myself up with drugs and alcohol to forget her but she was everywhere. I couldn't escape even thought I tried for the first few years. Then I made a decision, she was going to take me back. I had to start working on the life I wanted to have with her.

I started blowing up in to a superstar, making money, buying a home big enough for her and me. I didn't splurge my money. I saved them so I could buy her everything her heart desired.

Every breath I took was for her. I stayed healthy, didn't do drugs anymore, and didn't do the random hook up and all the songs were always about her.

My life started, ended and evolved around her.

When I heard from my uncle Carlisle that she was in L.A. with Alice I thought long and hard about what to do. I didn't want to complicate her life, I wanted her to succeed before I made an appearance. So I gave her 2 more years. At last I couldn't stay away anymore. It was as if she was calling to me, I was going crazy knowing that she was close by. The first year I went out on an USA and Europe tour but this last year… I tried to keep busy but it was so hard.

And now I threw it all away. She didn't want me back. All my efforts were for nothing. She hated me, she couldn't forgive me.

After a couple of hours of self pity I dragged my ass in to my bedroom, picking up a bottle of scotch on the way. I lay in my bed, just thinking about all these choices I had made. All this playing around.

I kept drinking until I passed out. I woke up to my phone ringing.

"ellooo?" Crap I was still drunk.

"Edward Anthony Cullen so help me fucking god if you don't open up these gates I'll climb over and then beat the shit out if you!"

"Emmet?"

"Yeah asshole, surprise! Open the fucking gate!"

"Hold on… I just gotta get out of bed…"

I opened up the gates and stood by the front door to await his arrival.

He barged in through the door and pinned me to the wall with his massive hands.

"What the fuck did you do?"

"Emmet, I'm drunk, tired and fucked up. I haven't seen you in forever so what the fuck could I have done to you?"

"Not me you moron! Bella!" he growled

At the mention of her name my heart stopped.

"What happened? Is she ok?" I started panicking.

"Everything is not ok! You fucked her up again!"

Now I was confused. "Emmet what the fuck are you talking about? Speak the fuck up!"

"Rose calls me, mad as hell and tells me to get over here and fuck you up. Bella was here and then she came home asking Rose and Alice never to mention you again. I'll ask again: WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?" with every word he showed me in to the wall.

"Oh Emmet!" I sobbed. She was fucking through with me, I had lost my reason for living.

He let go of me and I fell to the floor so he picked me up by an arm and dragged me to the living room where Bellas scent still lingered on the sofa. I sat back and just closed my eyes hoping for death to just fucking take me.

"Start from the top, and tell me everything." Emmet sat next to me and handed me a bottle of water. I didn't even notice him leave.

"Em, she….she's the one. She's everything. And now she's gone…"

**AN: Next update: The sooner you review….. Yeah I'm pimping out chapters….**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Took me long enough huh? I had this baby ready the whooole time, I was just waiting for reviews… and since they didn't come I held out on you! HA! Now I'm posting to tease you some more. ;-)**

**Ok enough of the crap, I have been seriously kicked in the ass by real life. It's totally hating on me. BUT HERE IS CHAPPIE 11. Love you.**

**Special thanks to katizi.**

**As always, Steph Meyer owns it, I borrow.**

Chapter 11

I told Emmet the whole story, at first he was mad then he grew contemplative and then he got mad again.

"So you trying to tell me you love this girl and now you're giving up?"

"She hates me Em, I've lost her." I was so tired…

"Edward, I love Bella like a sister. She has been there for me and Rose when we had it tough. She's a very special girl. I would totally kick your ass for her, any fucking day of the week. But as I understand you are just fucked about her and you're not seeing things straight."

"What is there to see other than she hates my guts."

"Hate is an emotion Edward."

"Thank you captain obvious."

"That means she has feelings for you."

I shot up from my half laying position. "What the hell are you on?"

He smirked. "Got your attention didn't I? Listen, Bella has never had a steady relationship, yeah she dated, she moved on but she never got over you. For years your name was the forbidden one and we kept any news about you to our selves. But these past years she has settled down, she has grown confident. Grew some balls." He smirked at me.

"Bella is not 16 anymore. Shes's a grown woman, a strong woman. You think some sweet declarations are gonna get you in her panties again?"

It was scary how accurate Emmet sometimes could be. He saw things for what they were, no bullshit.

"Emmet you are scaring me with this shit. When did you become the voice of reason?"

"Ey you dork, I've been with Rose since we were 16. I think I got a clue or two about love."

I thought about that and I just couldn't grasp how they survived.

"How did you do it Em? I mean, didn't you ever stray?"

"Have you seen my girl? I may not be a braniac but my fiancée is the hottest chick on this planet. Why would I risk that? I work every day to be what she needs, who she wants. I keep her happy and satisfied. It's a lot of fucking work but I love her. I live for her."

I took a deep breath and asked the question I dreaded the answer to.

"What would you do if she left you?"

Emmet gave me a sharp look before he answered

"I would fight for her."


	12. Chapter 12

**OK peeps. Here's another chappie. Tell me what you think. Even if you think it stinks.**

**Steph meyer owns it.**

**

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Chapter 12

BPOV

The best thing about loving your job is that you meditate while you're working. I threw myself into all kinds of projects. I agreed to take on another intern so that we could expand and use new fresh talent, seeing things with fresh eyes.

Working hard gave me no time to think about Dinnergate.

I had thought about it and made up my mind that the boy was delusional and he should see someone. Professionally.

And instead of brooding and being angry I used all that energy to be productive at work. Yeah I was great that way. Rosalie praised me for my hard work and at least that felt good.

"Maybe Cullen should piss you off more often." She said smugly

I gave her a death glare and didn't respond.

"What you said we couldn't say Edward, not that we couldn't use my, Emmet's or Alices last name!" she said and raised her hands as if asking a question.

"If that is all, I'm going back to my office."

"Just one more thing, don't forget to check out the competition for this month. I left the magazines on your desk. Tell me if you find anything of value that I should know about."

I nodded that I had heard her and left the room. Nobody but me and Alice knew about this but Rosalie was extremely paranoid. She didn't trust people easily so she wanted me to check other magazines if they used one of the ideas that we brainstormed during meetings. She wanted to know if we had "a leak" in the office.

_Freaking Nancy Drew wannabe_

As I sat and went through each magazine I tried to avoid the pictures of Edward that were in each and every one of them.

The last magazine made me gasp for air and go straight into panic mode.

_Edward Cullen: I'm in love!_

On the cover was his beautiful face and he was looking right at me. It was freaking me out but I couldn't turn the page.

He was in love? With who? He had just declared his undying devotion to me and now this? My god the man was a douchebag.

I opened the magazine and went straight to his article. They don't call it crazy obsession for nothing.

The headline was:

_Edward Cullen in love and heartbroken…_

_Edward Cullen, hot and famous rock star asked us to interview him so that he could straighten some things out. We happily obliged since he was never keen on doing interviews in the first place. The story of a young and lost love unfolded and if possible he is even hotter. Read and weep ladies…_

_**So Edward, you wanted us to do this interview. What is the occasion?**_

_Wow, that's very straight on of you. Well I wanted to tell people about my new album "The Lost Love". _

_**I'm sorry but you look extremely nervous…**_

_Shit. Yeah. Well I am. There are very few people out there that know about this and now I'm declaring it to the whole damn world._

_Ok, there is this girl right. I fell in love with her when I was a teenager and I've been in love ever since. That's why I only casually date, that's why I don't do relationships. No one can come close to this girl._

_**Have you been trying to move on? Or are you telling me you're stuck on your high school sweetheart?**_

_No it's not like that. I met _THE_ girl almost a decade ago. And I fucked it up. I let her go for apparently all the wrong reasons. And I did try to move on, but it was no use. She's all I can think about, she's all I want. This whole album is about her. She inspires this kind of music in me. I love her madly, it's like she's a drug I don't want to go to rehab for because this drug, this girl makes everything so much better._

_**Hold up. You love her like this and she doesn't feel the same? **_

_I don't know how she feels. I know she loved me then, just as madly. But I screwed it up. I let her go because I thought I was protecting her. And instead we were both heartbroken. I made a decision that was not mine to make and now she doesn't want me._

_**Is she stupid, blind or mentally challenged? Or gay?**_

_Hahaha no, no none of the above. She's, beautiful, she's smart and she's the only girl that owns my heart. She just doesn't know it. She doesn't know how deep my feelings are for her. How deeply I crave her and love her._

_**Aaha, that's where this article comes in?**_

_It's a part of it yes. But also I want this image of me being a badboy and womanizer o end. It's just too much. I just want to make music. I don't care about the fame or money. I love my fans and I want to make them happy by playing them music. But if she would ask me to leave it all, I would. I would buy an island and it would just be the two of us…_

_**Mystery girl, whoever you are! DO NOT ask him that. We would go crazy without the music you provide dear Edward.**_

_Hahaha_

_**To get back on topic. You say the album is about her?**_

_Let me tell you, ALL my songs are about her. I imagine us being together and then the happy songs come, I imagine her hating my guts and then the sad songs come to me. I imagine us doing normal things and then the normal songs come. It's sick really. But that is the hold she has on me._

_**Maybe you just need to get her out of your system?**_

_Why would I want that? I love her, I want to be with her forever. If I didn't have that love, I would be empty. Right now she doesn't want me and I feel like half a man. _

_**You know your fans are gonna hate this chick.**_

_I sincerely hope not. Why would they hate someone so dear to me? I never dated fans and I never will. Except for charity when they won a date at an auction. But I have faith in my fans. If they love my music they'll know that I need her like you need air. That she makes me better, she makes me want to be better._

_**A decade huh? You were what? 15?**_

_I said almost a decade. That's all I'm saying._

_**So you're not even giving us a name?**_

_Do I ever give you names? Hahaha  
No she'll remain anonymous until she makes the active decision that she wants her identity known._

_**Mr Cullen how very chivalrous of you.**_

_Yes it is._

_**I can already feel you closing up. That's all I'm getting isn't it?**_

_Hahaha yes for now, that's all I'm giving away…._

Oh my God. Was he crazy as well? Ok it was sweet and sick at the same time and the tears were falling freely down my face and I didn't know what to think…

I took the magazine and my personal belongings before bolting for the door.

Rosalie and Alice were standing on the other side.

"You knew about this?" I croaked out. My throat was sore from the crying.

"Yes, in some way. We didn't know it would be this intense though… Talk to him Bella. You've been miserable since he left."

"I can't believe this. I thought you were my friends! I'm taking the rest of the week off." With that I stormed out of the office, out of the building and in to a cab.

Stupid interfering meddling aaaaagh!

I couldn't think about them, I had some shit to process…


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Whaddaya think? It's a short one for now. But I'll post again soon. Promise.**

As I lay in my bed and stared at the ceiling I came to two conclusions: first of all I needed to repaint the ceiling because it was some yellow nasty color. Second was that Edward had backed out of our deal. He indirectly and directly contacted me. The article was a way to try and rise a reaction out of me and that was just evil. He had during the 48 hours since the publication of said article called me not less than 10 times. A nice and even number. And left 10 voicemails.

They were all the same, he was trying to get me to call him and that was not going to happened. He also asked if I was OK since Alice the little backstabber had told him the article brought me to tears.

After a couple of hours of contemplating my options and what was the best course of action I decided that I should text Edward and ask him to please stop contacting me. Every fiber in my body was screaming to run and hide until he forgot about me again. My heart felt betrayed and hoped that he meant what he said in the article. My mind was going crazy and wanted to just be left alone by him and his words and his lies.

**Edward please just leave me alone. I'm alive and ok, I just want to be left alone – Bella**

**Bella, I can't leave you, I have been going crazy, please just talk to me. – E**

**No. **

**Bella, I swear to god, if you don't talk to me I'll come over to your home. –E**

**What is it you expect from me? Leave. Me. Alone! –B**

**I'm coming over –E**

**No you're not! I'm not at home. –B **

Crap, I hoped he believed my lie.

**What? Where are you? –E**

I didn't answer, he wasn't giving up. It was no use.

**Bella wherever you go, I'll find you. I have waited 7 years, I can wait 7 more. But I will find you. –E**

Ok that was beyond stalkerish. I turned my phone off to mute and started getting ready for a shower. I had been in bed for a whole night and a whole day. This was getting ridiculous and smelly.

My mind was going a mile a minute with the conflicting emotions in my heart and head. My mind wanted to run and my heart wanted to run to him. 7 years of controlling these emotions were becoming fruitless since I was slowly crumbling. My soul was already with him. I did love him. And he loved me. But I couldn't get myself to say it out loud or to give in to the temptation.

Maybe I could take it slow. Maybe it was all in our heads. Maybe we needed to spend time together to see that this love we had were mere memories that would be replaced with disgust? I was guessing over here but it seemed to be the best idea so far.

I got out of the shower, drying myself and getting ready to blowdry my hair when I heard pounding on my door. I put a bathrobe on and went to get the door. I checked the peephole but all I could see was someones head as the person was looking down on their shoes. As the person raised their hand to pound again he also raised his head and his face was visible through the peephole.

I gasped as I saw the face of Edward Cullen standing on the other side of the door.


	14. Chapter 14

EPOV

As I was ready to pound again I heard a noise, it sounded like a gasp and I knew she was there, on the other side. I felt her presence through the door, the magical current running through me.

"Bella open the door!"

Nothing.

"Bella I know your there, I can feel you through the door. Now open up unless you want to give your neighbors a show!"

I heard the lock and the deadbolt and then she opened the door quickly.

"Get in!" she hissed.

I went in through the door and fuck me senseless, she was in a robe. Her sweet scent was everywhere and my throat was closing up on me.

"Bella, why didn't you answer my last text? Or my latest phonecalls? I called Alice, Rose, Emmet and I even called Angela to see where you were!"

She gaped at me as if I was crazy. Maybe I was. It was solely her doing though.

"Are you insane? I'm a grown woman and I do not need you checking up on me!"

"Jesus woman! I was worried!" I pulled my hair.

She straightened up and pulled her shoulders back. "I don't need your worry. I have been taking care of myself for over 5 years now."

It stung as hell but she was right, I needed to calm the fuck down and she needed to put some fucking clothes on! "Ok, you're right, I'm sorry. It's none of my business but I still worry. Now can you please put some clothes on and come back out here so we can talk?"

"Eeeh….suuure… I'll just….be a moment…" she blushed scarlet and bolted for what I assumed was her bedroom.

Oh god, her bedroom. I had to diffuse this train of thought. My cellphone rang and gave me that exact excuse.

"Cullen."

"Mr Cullen, this is Eric. I parked the car on the parallel street but I'm surrounded by pappz. I'll have to leave and perhaps be back later."

"Shit!" I pulled my hair. What the fuck! I didn't think before I came here. I had to think of something fast or I would expose Bella.

"Just leave Eric. I'll call for another car or have Felix deal with this. Hopefully I'll be here a while and they'll grow bored. I'll call you later."

Shit, shit, shit, shit. What was I going to say to Bella? I had to be honest. But that would put a huge tree in the road for our conversation. I would tell her. Just not right now.

At that moment Bella came out of her bedroom in jeans and a band t-shirt. A Led Zeppelin t-shirt. Huh, who would have thought that could be sexy?

Her hair was still damp and she sat down on the couch.

"So… Would you like a drink? I have beer, coke, water and maybe some juice…" she said timidly.

"Yeah a coke would be great."

She left the room and went in to the kitchen. I followed her because she was like a magnet and I couldn't control myself around her.

As she closed the fridge she spotted me. "Shit you scared me!"

"Sorry…" I stepped closer to her. "You smell lovely"

"Eeeh thanks…Here's the coke." She thrust a can of coke in to my chest and stepped around me trying to leave.

I sighed and followed her to the living room, sitting at the other side of the couch.

"So…why would you do that Edward? The article?"

I sighed. Ok here goes nothing.

"I had a long talk with Em. And he knocked some sense into me. I am so sorry Bella, for taking away your choice. Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure." She whispered.

"That summer, I mean, yeah you were only 16 but… What did you feel?"

She let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes as if contemplating if she should answer.

"The first moment I met you it was as if everything clicked in to place. As if my bones were broken and the sight of you put them back in place… It's so hard to explain. I thought everybody felt like this the first time they fell in love. But it was so intense. I couldn't function until I found out you felt the same. And then it was like… like coming home after a long journey… I learnt so much about myself that summer. You made me feel beautiful and talented and you changed me." She took a long sip from her coke.

"I had never felt that way and when you left I was sure you would call. When you didn't for the first 2 weeks I knew. I knew it was over and you wouldn't come back. I was heartbroken and devastated and I cried for so long. But then I pulled myself together, tried to move on and I started to work hard in school so I could get a full scholarship. When I graduated I went to NYU and followed my dream of photography. Me, Alice and Rose started the magazine and here I am right now."

Wow ok, that was a lot to take in. But she said she tried to move on. Not that she had succeeded.

"Bella can I tell you my version?"

"Please." She whispered. I knew she had to be scared.

"I came to visit Alice and Emmet and it was great. The day you came by the house it was as if I was pulled from upstairs to the door. I could feel you Bella. And then I saw you and I knew. This is the girl. You were it for me." Now it was my turn to take a moment and sip the coke. It was hard talking about it when she was so close and still so far away.

"I asked Em and Alice about you and found out you were 16. I tried to take it slow and I could, because I knew we had forever. But then I learned how inexperienced you were, when I got to know you and I thought that I was robbing you of the whole high school and college experience. So I decided that I would leave as planned after the summer and wait until you were old enough to want the same things I wanted. I pursued my dreams of singing and songwriting and I became very successful as you know." At this I smirked a little. Yeah I was a cocky son of a bitch.

"But I was a mess because I missed you. I wanted to go back and just take you with me but I kept telling myself it was for your own good. I did some stupid shit…" I didn't know how she would react to this and I was scared shitless about telling her.

"I tried blocking you out with drugs and alcohol…" she gasped and put her hand to her mouth, I looked down and started tracing the pattern in the fabric of the couch.

"It didn't work. I was high and started hallucinating and saw you, you were talking to me and you were laughing and I started getting fucked up just to spend that time with you in my head. It was sick and I dragged myself out of it by making up my mind. I was going to get you back. I started to work hard so I would be successful and bought a house that I thought you would like. I saved up all my money so I could shower you with gifts and so we could have something saved up when we were old and you know… I just planned out a future for us. It kept me focused. And I waited, I was just waiting for you." I looked her in the eyes as I said this, pleading with my gaze to make her see the sincerity behind it.

"Then uncle Carlisle told me you girls had come out to L.A. and I thought I wanted to give you the opportunity to find a life for yourself before I begged you to be mine again. My life is a fucking circus and I wanted you to be independent and strong before you had to face all this…if you even wanted to face all this."

I sighed and pulled my hair, the pain was good, it distracted some of the pain in my heart.

"So I went on tour, for an entire year. I had nothing keeping me here if I didn't have you and I had to keep myself away. And then I found out you were getting established and I knew you would be world famous if I started pursuing you again and I also knew how stubborn and independent you are. I knew you would want to be Bella Swan, famous photographer before you became Bella Swan, Edward Cullens girlfriend…. But then I just couldn't keep myself away, I could feel your presence here and it drove me mad."

I looked up to look her in the eyes, she was crying, silent tears streaking her beautiful face.

"Shh baby, don't cry… Please don't cry. I love you and I'm so sorry. I understand why you're mad and why you hate me. I hate me!" I stroked her cheek and had to close my eyes from the intense pleasure that was rushing through me of finally touching her. She had the most astounding effect on me.

"Say something…" I whispered while looking her in the eyes and cupping her cheek. A smile broke through on her face, it wasn't big but it was there and my heart soared because in that moment I knew she wasn't lost to me forever. I had a chance.

"I was just thinking… I should be mad at you and I guess I am. But it feels as if I've come home. You're home to me…"


	15. Chapter 15

BPOV

Fuck taking things slow. This man's mere presence made me want to do the most irrational things.

But mostly he felt so right, when I put all the negative feelings aside I felt his soul, I could feel how he belonged to me. My heart and his heart was the same.

We just had an intimate moment and I couldn't look away. This man loved me, I could feel it in everything he did. In everything he was.

Just then his cellphone rang. He sighed and mumbled an apology. I took the moment to compose myself and wipe my face.

"Cullen. Yeah, hi Felix, I was meaning to call you." He listened for a moment before he shot up from the couch and went to the windows. He peeked out before cursing.

"Fuck! How am I gonna get out of here? How did they find out about her? SHIT!" he put a fist against the wall.

"Fix this. I'll have to call you back." He pressed the end button and turned to me.

"Bella, love. I am so sorry…Again. I didn't think before dragging my ass over here and now the media found out about you…"

"What?" I screamed. This was bad, it was really bad.

"Shit, shit, shit. I have to call Rose and Alice!"

I ran into my bedroom to retrieve my phone. "Alice" I said as she picked up.

"Bella! Oh my God this is crazy! The media has been calling me and Emmet and now they're here outside my door. Where are you? How did they find out?"

"Alice calm down, I'm at home. They found out because Edward came over here.."

"Edward is with you?" she shrieked.

"Jesus Alice my ear! Yes he's here."

"Why? I thought you hated him!"

"Alice, this is not the time or place for this discussion. Now please call Emmet and ask him to come here and help Edward. Tell him to come to the parking garage but that he has to go in by the north entrance and not the south as he usually does. That way the pappz won't see him entering. Then he can pick up me and Edward so we can get the hell out of here."

"Where are you going Bella?"

"I'll go to Rose and Em's place, their house is big enough for some privacy rather than yours or my apartments. Plus Emmet can drive me and Rose to and from work."

"That sounds good. I'll call Em. You guys get ready."

I went out to speak to Edward, he was on the phone planning something as well. I interrupted him to tell him my plan.

"Edward, Em is coming to pick us up. He'll come in through the other entrance to the parking garage where there hopefully are no pappz. He'll pick us up, we'll drive you home and then I'll stay at Em and Rose's place. Get ready, he's on his way."

Edward looked stunned for a second before saying down the phone. "I think I'm covered for now Felix. Tell Eric to go home."

I went about my business, packing up a few things so that I was prepared to be away for a couple of days.

"Bella?" I heard Edward calling me from the other side of the door.

I took a deep breath and told him to come in.

He leaned against the door all hot jeans and sexy t-shirt and looked at me as if I was something to eat.

_Red alert soldier! Enemy approaching your territory! _

_Yeah I'd like him to approach some territory… Gaaah! Inner monologues had to freaking stop!_

I shook my head to rid myself of the ridiculous ramblings of my twisted mind and asked "Can I do something for you Edward?"

He got a wicked gleam in his eyes and I knew that his inner monologues were probably similar to mine.

"Well I was wondering why you are staying at Em's?"

I scrunched my eyebrows processing the question.

"Well first of all, it's not safe for me to be here. Alone. And second of all, Em deals with security and he and Rose are my family, it's where I go when I need to get away."

Now he looked a little confused but raised his eyes and said "No I know why you are going there. I just… I mean why aren't you going home with me…?"

I was rendered speechless. Stunned. No inner monologues. Nothing.

"Edward." I said in a calm voice, as if I was speaking to a child. "Why would I go to your house? We just started talking 5 minutes ago."

"So what you think I'll lock you up and rape you or something?" he asked angrily.

"Whoa there soldier. Back up. You need to learn how to process shit in your head before letting your mouth run off. We haven't established anything here. If the media wouldn't have found out you would still be at your home and I would be in my home…. Now please give me some privacy so I can pack my shit up!" this man was mad. He was certifiable. Something was not right in his head.

I mean yeah I loved him, he loved me but that doesn't mean you go riding off in to the sunset. This isn't a fairytale. It's real life.

And real life was going to suck devils balls at the moment since Romeo out there had no filter whatsoever. He talked to the press, he came here without a plan and now I had to deal with his poor choice making. Again.

As I turned around he was still standing there, looking torn.

"Just because I admitted to loving you doesn't mean I'm going to be with you Edward. Now please let's get out of here." I passed him and went to my hallway closet where I dug out two baseball caps and some sunglasses.

As I was handing a pair to Edward there was a knock on the door and Emmet's voice on the other side telling us he was here.

We snuck out as fast as we could and in the stairway before you went in to the garage Emmet went in to make sure there were no pappz before rushing us out to the car that was parked right outside the door. Some pappz were lingering around my truck and when they heard the heavy metaldoor to the garage entrance close behind us they started running towards us.

Emmet placed us in the backseat and told us to duck down and hide before he stepped on the gas and got us the hell out of there.

Emmet was the most loyal person I had ever met. He was funny, charming and honest. He didn't sugarcoat it or lie and he always saved my butt.

"Emmet, again you come to my rescue. Thank you!" I gave him a kiss on the cheek since a hug from the backseat was rather difficult.

"Beldarina, I got your back baby, you know that. And I finally have someone that can challenge me at Wii." He gave me his signature grin. I loved this man.

"You're on! But don't go crying to Rose when I kick your ass. Again." I smirked and he laughed.

I sat back as I heard Edward sigh next to me.

I didn't acknowledge him since I was still a little pissed.

"Em, I need to be dropped off somewhere." Edward said.

"Yeah in liquid acid…" I heard Em mutter. Luckily, or unfortunately depending on which way you were looking at it, Edward didn't hear him.

"Where does your stupid ass need to be dropped off?" He finally asked Edward.

Edward replied by giving him an address not too far from Emmets house so it was still on the way.

As we pulled up at the gates Emmet buzzed the intercom and Edward said "Special delivery for Mr Whitlock!" when someone answered "Speak".

"Special indeed" the voice snorted and buzzed the gate open.

Driving up to the house I racked my brain for information. Whitlock… it sounded familiar…

And there he was in all his glory. Jasper fucking Whitlock. I didn't know Edward knew him. Alice was going to shit a brick.

"Well hello there brother." Jasper said in his southern accent that was too hot for words. His sandblond hair was colored lightbrown, maybe for a part, but he was still hot. His blue eyes twinkeled when he saw Edward step out of the car and then he refocused on me behind him.

"Hi Jazz. I need a place to crash." Edward said.

"Of course, you're more than welcome to stay." He eyed me curiously so I jumped down from the car and extended my hand. When we shook hands I said "Hi, I'm Bella."

Recognition flashed in his eyes and he cast a look at Edward before smiling "A pleasure to meet you Bella. I have heard a lot about you." I blushed at that and didn't know what to say. I was saved by Emmet who exchanged pleasantries with Jasper.

"Will you also be staying with us Bella?" Jasper asked.

"Eh, no. I'm staying at Emmets."

"You're more than welcome to stay."

Edward locked his gaze with me and he smiled. I felt my stomach clench when he smiled and I quickly replied. "Thank you Jasper. But I'm more comfortable staying with Emmet and Rose."

"Well if there is anything I can do for you, please let me know."

"Well there is actually one thing you could do…"

He looked intrigued. I couldn't believe I was going to ask him this.

"Yes?"

"Could I call up my friend while you're here? She's actually Edwards cousin and she is a huge fan of yours. Maybe take a picture first?"

He laughed and Edward smiled and Emmet boomed. "Bells you are on crazy chick. The fucking phone will explode."

I smiled timidly and took my phone out of my pocket. I snapped a picture and sent it to Alice with the words: "Jealous?"

I thanked Jasper and counted down in my head from 10. When I was down at five I counted out loud "5,4,3,2,1" and my phone rang with Alice's name on the caller ID. I smiled and answered. "Well hello Alice."

I had to immediately pull the phone away or I was risking serious hearing damage. "! Oh my god oh my god oh my god! Bella! Are you standing with him now? Can he hear me? Oh my god he must think I'm crazy! Is he hot? Of course he's hot!"

"Alice! Calm down, yes he's here, yes he is and do you want to talk to him?" Jasper smiled and extended his hand to take the phone from me. I gave him it before she could answer. He said hello and laughed and started a conversation with Alice. He was really sweet about it and started walking away as the conversation continued.

"Well we better get going soon Belloney."

"Don't call me that!" I huffed. Emmet was such a child sometimes. But he was the closest to a brother I had and I loved him. Still, calling me names was stupid.

But Emmet, being Emmet, ruffled my hair and grinned. "I'll be in the car." And he walked away. Leaving me alone with Edward.

The atmosphere was awkward and I looked at my shoes trying to think of something to say.

"I'm so sorry Bella. This is my fault." Edward whispered.

"It is your fault Edward. But depending on what is going to happened between us it was bound to come up sooner or later."

"You…I…Are you saying you'll start seeing me?" Edward sounded hopeful. I felt hopeful. But also a lot of apprehension.

"As friends. We can hang out and talk. Nothing too serious. We should get to know each other first." I looked him in the eyes as I said this.

Edward took a step towards me so that I could feel his heat. He smelled so good it was making me dizzy. I wanted to bury my nose in his chest and just feel enveloped by him.

He gave me a kiss on the head and whispered:

"Je vais attendre pour l'éternité"

And with that he stepped back and went inside of Jaspers house. Jasper came outside and handed me my phone. "Well she's a real firecracker that one!" I laughed

"Yes she is. But she's great."

"Oh I bet she is. And I intend to find out." He winked at me and said "I asked her to dinner at my place tomorrow. You should come too. Edward will still be here."

"Oh. I don't know. We'll see. Thank you Jasper. Goodbye."

"Bye Bella." He waved as I climbed in to the car. What a surprise. He asked Alice to dinner already?

"Em, Alice is having dinner with Jasper Whitlock tomorrow." I said confused

"Oh God! We'll never hear the end of this. Let's stay out of her way until then. She'll be like a monkey on crack!"

I laughed and felt better and just tried to relax and not think of Alice or Edward or anything. I just wanted to rest…


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Yeha here's an update. Maybe i should stick to one day huh? I can't even remember which day i last updated. Sorry if it's been too long. I can promise though that there will be an update this weekend and that things are starting to get interesting...**

**Tell me if you like it.**

As I was sitting in Roses livingroom, playing cards with Rose and drinking wine, the doorbell rang and in came Alice running like a madwoman. I stood up from the couch in shock and got immediately attacked by Alice.

"Thank you, thank you thank you! I love you Bella, I love you."  
I held her thighs as she wrapped her legs around me and kissed my cheeks and mouth. Rendered speechless I just held Alice as best I could.

She finally jumped down and looked so pleased with herself. Rosie just smiled and shuffled the cards.

"Alice? What the fuck?"

"Bella he asked me to dinner!, Dinner at Jasper Whitlocks house. Can you believe it?" She fell on the sofa in a dramatic move and sighed happily.

"Ok… Well. I guess….your welcome?"

She just grinned happily and patted the cushion next to her.

"So tell me about Edward."

I sat down and tried to feign ignorance. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh don't give me that crap. Rose help me out."

Rosalie gave me her dominatrix stare. It scared the crap out of me the first years of our friendship. "Bella, Alice and I want to know what was said between you and Edward. What are we expecting at this dinner tomorrow?"

"What do you mean 'we'?" I asked.

"We are all invited. Mr. Whitlock is very charming and persuasive I must say." Rose answered. "So what are you guys trying to date again?

I groaned. They were not going to leave me alone.

"No we're not dating. We don't know where this is going. He wants me to practically move in tomorrow, but I said we'd remain friends and just get to know each other. I don't know where I stand with him, I just know that I lose my head around him and I don't like it at all. I'm not 16 anymore for Christ sake." I took a deep breath and released it… I was sick of this emotional turmoil that accompanied Edward Cullen.

"I mean… I love him. Of course I do. I never stopped. But he made these choices, what's to say that he won't make them again? What if I throw myself in with him and he decides I need protecting from papparazzis and the best way is to ignore me?"

Alice looked sad. "Bells, he made a mistake. A terrible one. But no one can say what will happen. You have to go with your gut."

"The problem with the gut is that it's in between your stomach and your groin. It's giving me some mixed signals…" with that we all burst out laughing and we cackled for a while with tears falling down our cheeks. Emmet entered the room and took a look at us, shook his head and stepped back out again. This of course sent us flying over the edge again and the evening was spent laughing and gossiping about girl stuff.

As I went to bed that night I thought about the conversation I had with Edward. And the day that followed. It was just crazy and I couldn't wrap my head around it. What if he broke my heart again? Even as friends he held this weird magic over my heart and soul.

The following day Alice came by with outfits for everyone. You could always count on Alice to play dress up.

"Alice! I AM NOT wearing this!" the little shedevil smiled pleasantly and said

"Fine what about this?" She held up a short black dress, simple and nice. Not something I would normally wear but it was a hell lot better than the strapless hoochie mama dress she first showed me.

"I know what your trying to pull. I'm going in jeans and a t-shirt."

"Over my dead body you are." Alice answered.

"Alice if you know what you want me to wear and you'll bodily harm me if I don't why do you insist on bringing a dress not even Lady GaGa would be caught dead in?"

"It's so much more fun like this." She beamed at me. God I hated this girl sometimes.

I just took the dress and went about my business.

What was I supposed to feel about all this. I desperately wanted to see Edward again and the shift in my feelings was so unsettling I had to empty my stomach in the toilet before I went in the shower. I was nervous and afraid and I didn't know what to do with myself.

Alice came in the bathroom just in time to see me wiping my eyes and reapplying make up.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing . Really."

"Sweetie, your crying." She stroked my hair which just made me cry again. Alice pulled me in for a hug and I just stood in her tiny arms and cried. I cried my eyes out until Rose came in and stopped dead in her tracks. Rose didn't do crying. But she came in and hugged both me and Alice for a long while.

"Ok, I can't take this shit. Why are we crying?"

I laughed at her obvious discomfort and dried my eyes. I took a deep breath and smiled.

"Nothing, I think I just needed a really good cry." And it was true, I felt so much better than I had since this whole Edward thing started. I felt cleansed. And ready to face whatever I was going o face tonight.

"So ladies, what do you say about blowing these boys heads away?"

We all laughed at that and Rose went running in search for some champagne. Our preparations for the evening were a full blown girls night. In the car on our way over we discovered that we were all a bit drunk and that sent us on a new wave of giggles. Emmet sighed from the front seat and we laughed again.

Edward Cullen was in for a treat.


	17. Chapter 17

**Sooo... i got this great review and had to post a new chapter just to show my appriciation.**

**Thank you TwiSofia. Hope you like it.**

**EPOV**

The day couldn't be going any slower. At several points of the day I was pacing and Jasper found me pulling my hair out.

"Dude! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm freaking out." I sighed. "I am trying to brace myself for tonight, but all I want to do is find her and take her home. Fuck!"

"So you're like back together after all these years?"

"No..No. She doesn't trust me."

Jasper snorted at this and I shot him a glare.

He put his hands up and said "What the fuck do you expect? I wouldn't trust you either. You show up a lifetime later and expect her to understand your reasons? The reasons of a 18 year old boy with a wild imagination. Dude get a grip."

"I know Jazz and in my mind I know this. But my heart belongs with her and I can't be without her anymore. Now that I have seen her again I can't be without her."

"And if you play your cards right you won't have to. But for once put your ass in her goddamn shoes! This isn't about what you want. This is about what she wants and if she's ready. Take your cues from her."

I sighed and slumped down on the couch. I hated when Jasper was right. Because when he was right he was spot on.

"Thanks man. I'll lighten up. Promise."

"Good, now get your horny ass of my couch and in the shower. You smell like a homeless dog and that is not very impressive my friend."

I groaned but did as I was told. Jasper was a good friend. He was there for me when I was new to the Hollywood stage and saved me from some embarrassing moments. He was an actor and I was a singer but we got along really good. I had known him for about 4-5 years now and we were best friends. I was there for him when he broke up with Kate and the press camped outside his house. I went back to Texas with him when we both needed a break and he helped me with my Bella obsession. Although he didn't find out about her until 2 years ago when I went out on a drinking binge and he had to come get me. I had found out that she was in L.A. and it was driving me slowly mad trying to stay away from her.

He listened, kicked my ass and helped me focus. Jasper was a great guy and I trusted him with my life. He was a very calm man, he never got mad or angry or overly emotional. He just smiled and looked as if he didn't have a care in the world.

He was a talented actor and loved his job but just like me hated the attention. Together we tried to make the best of it and supported each other when needed.

As I was getting ready I thought of what he had said. He was right. I wanted Bella no doubt about it. But the question was if she wanted me and in what sense did she want me. As a friend? As a lover? I needed to give her time, get to know her. Let her get to know me. Let her learn to trust me.

With new confidence I ran down the stairs when I heard the doorbell, jasper met me in the foyer and opened the door. Up front was Emmet and Rose, with 4 bottles of wine. Behind them were presumably Alice and Bella but I couldn't really see.

"Well hello and welcome, I assume you must be the beautiful Rose that I have heard so much about." Jasper was as ever the perfect host.

"Hello Mr. Whitlock. Yes, I am Rose and this is my husband Emmet, Edwards cousin." They all shook hands and Rose came up to greet me.

"Hey there Smellward." She kissed my cheek and I pulled her in for a hug.

"Hey Rosie." I kissed her cheek back.

"I've missed you. And don't call me Rosie!" she smiled.

"Don't call me Smellward and I have missed your stinking ass like crazy."

We both laughed at the familiarity and she leaned in whispering "Good to have you back babe, but if you fuck it up again I'll kick your ass. I owe you an asskicking from the last time you broke her heart but if you kiss and make it go away I'll forgive you."

"I'll try" I whispered back.

"Get your filthy rockstar hands of my wife!" Emmet boomed. I laughed and squeezed Rose's ass before releasing her and hugging Emmet.

As I turned to the door I was rendered speechless. In the door was Bella and Alice. Alice looked like a tiny fairy, she was so goddamn pretty. But Bella was stunnig. A short black dress, with black pumps. Her beautiful legs were calling to me and her hair was curly and shiny. Her face was angelic with minimal makeup and she looked so confident and yet shy at the same time.

I had to get a grip so I went for introductions "Jasper this is my cousin Alice and you've met Bella."

"It's a pleasure to meet you both." Alice giggled and shook his hand. He kissed her hand and gave Bella a hug.

I took a step towards Bella and smiled down at her, I stroked her cheek and felt her stiffen. I wanted to mentally kick myself, it was too soon for this. I took a step back and said "you look beautiful tonight." She mumbled a thank you and I could see her blush.

As we piled in to the dining room the caterers came out with the food.

"I hope you all are hungry because we got enough food to feed an army."

"Alright!" Emmet boomed and Rose smacked him in the head. Everybody laughed and took their seats. Jasper sat at the head of the table and Alice took her seat at his left.

I took my seat at his right side and Bella sat next to me. Rose sat next to Alice and Emmet next to her.

As we sat down her leg touched mine and I felt the electricity I always felt when she touched me. I could feel her stiffen and pull her leg away.

The heat coming from her body was like lying in the grass a warm summers day. It was pure bliss. The scent coming from her was intoxicating and I was feeling high and started to fidget with the need to touch her.

Jasper must have sensed this because he kicked me in the shin and gave me a stern look saying "stop fucking around".

This was going to be a very long dinner.

Alice was telling some story about their college days and I could see jasper being mesmerized with her. He was hypnotized with the way her hands moved and her different grimaces as she told the story of when the girls accidentally went in to the wrong dorm room and ended up in a pigsty with three hangover guys sleeping.

Everybody laughed and Bella laughed so hard she had tears streaking down her cheeks.

It was a wonderful night and the food was great. I turned to Bella and asked he if she wanted some more wine.

"I think she had enough." Emmet said.

The girls started to giggle and I shot a questioning look at Emmet. He shook his head and sighed.

"They had a girls night before they came. Estrogen mixed with champagne results in a headache in the morning."

"Oh" was the smart response I came up with. I had never seen Bella drunk. I looked at her and saw that her eyes were a little glossy.

"Maybe you should have some water then."

She crossed her arms like a petulant child and I wanted to laugh at her. "Is something wrong Bella?"

"Maybe I want to have some more wine, neither you nor Emmet are my father. Not even my father would have a say in this." She muttered.

"Well then wine it is." I said. She looked up at me with surprise in her eyes.

"Thank you"

I poured her some more wine and Alice cheered "Yeeey! Drunk Bella is fun Bella! More wine for everyone!" Rose laughed, Emmet burried his head in his hands and Jasper laughed along with Rose. He poured more wine for Alice and I poured more for Rose and for myself.

The conversation flowed and at one point Bella touched my hand under the table and looked at our joined hands for a moment. She closed her eyes for e second before opening them, looking straight at me, smiling and pulling her hand away.

I don't know what that was about. Did she feel it too? I got my answer when she looked at her own hand as if to see if there was something wrong with it.

I leaned in and whispered in her ear "I feel it too. Every time." She gasped and blushed and I felt my stomach flip.

She was so extremely beautiful, so delicate but yet so strong. I loved her with every fiber of my body, it was as if she was a compass and all my cells were pointing straight at her.

During the evening I leaned back and put my arm around the back of her chair. I started playing with one of her curls and kept touching her hair and it felt so right and so good I was getting high on her mere presence. In my head I hear notes flying around and it was as if my head was composing songs just by touching her hair.

"Jazz, can I borrow the piano for a minute?"

I interrupted his discussion with Alice and everybody looked straight at me. Jasper furrowed his brows and said "sure man, you know where it is."

As I stood I took Bellas hand "Come with me please."

She looked stunned but did as I asked and followed me to Jaspers music room. I sat at the piano and pulled her down next to me.

"Would you just sit here with me?" she nodded and I started to play. I sat with my right side next to her left end the electric current was there and I started to play. And I played better than I had ever played before. I played for her, about her, because of her.

And a new song was being composed…


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: I am so sorry about the delay, I suck. I know. But here is something really nice for you. Hope you like it.**

As he sat and played I could observe him. Ok fine I was ogling him. But he was so beautiful and focused and I couldn't help myself.

I could see his muscles ripple and move under his t-shirt and I was mesmerized by his back. I reached out and put my hand flat on his back and I stroked him. I could hear him falter in his playing and I pulled my hand back. "I'm sorry" I whispered.

He turned and looked at me "Don't be sorry, I was just shocked. Please, keep on." He looked almost desperate and I nodded.

He stood up and turned the bench so that it stood out from the piano, like this I was seated behind him. He smiled and sat down and continued to play. I scooted down the bench and sat a couple of inches behind him and timidly reached my hand out and touched his shoulder blade. As if on cue the music grew louder and… more happy maybe. I couldn't tell for sure but it was somehow lighter.

We sat like that for a while until I couldn't resist anymore and put my forehead to his back. He smelled divine. The scent made my hormones go crazy and I wanted to consume him. His scent, the feel of his back under my hands, the connection, the music he was playing and the alcohol made me forget that this boy that had grown into a man had broken my heart. Right now felt so right and I couldn't make myself feel sorry. I turned my head and put my cheek to his back. I could hear his heart beating rapidly.

I held my hands on his shoulder blades and slowly made my way down his back, then I started to move my hands in opposite directions until they were resting on his stomach. I could feel his muscles stiffen and he took a deep breath but he never stopped playing. I tightened my grip until I was molded to his back and holding him to me tightly.

He started humming a song I never heard before, maybe it was brand new.

And tears slipped down my cheeks. I didn't know why I was crying. Perhaps this was so right I was overwhelmed. Perhaps I was afraid that it couldn't be this good ever again.

As I sat there I heard the song fade away. He stopped playing and put his hands over mine.

I felt him sigh and lean back against me so I started to pull away.

"No. Please just stay like this."

I sniffed a little and dried my cheek on his shirt. "This is such a bad idea."

He stiffened and slowly turned around. When he saw my face he pulled my legs over his, and pulled me close "My love, why are you crying? Don't cry. I'm sorry. Whatever I did forgive me."

I laughed a little and tried to pull away but he held me firmly. "You didn't do anything worth apologizing for. I'm just overwhelmed. That was lovely by the way."

"You are lovely." He replied quietly

I just looked in to those green eyes and it was as if my body had disconnected from my brain, I was slowly pulled in to his hypnotic gaze and before I knew it our noses were touching.

I could feel his breath on my mouth and I inhaled as he exhaled to feel him. He exhaled a shuddering breath and his lips touched mine. At that very second it was as if something shifted and I shocked the hell out of us both by grabbing his face and kissing him fiercely. It took Edward a second to respond and then he grabbed my hips and pulled me closer so I was on his lap. And I could feel him through his pants. I held on tight and as I writhed on top of him, my dress scrunched up around my hips I felt his erection sliding and grinding against my clitoris. I moaned loudly and stuck my tongue in his mouth. Our bodies were dancing with each other, our tongues moving with familiarity until Edward leaned back and hit the piano keys making sounds that scared me back to sanity.

"Shit! I'm sorry!" I said as I backed up. I stood up quickly and started to fix my dress.

"Bella…" he started but I put my hand up.

"Don't. Please. Let's just forget this. We should get back." I said in a cold tone. I wiped my eyes trying to rid myself of mascara streaks.

"I don't want to forget it." He said quietly as he came forward.

I backed up and held my hands up. "Stop, I need a human moment. I'll see you out there." With that I turned around and ran out of the room.

After crying and fixing my make up in the first bathroom I found I stepped out and was faced with Jasper standing against the wall.

"Hi there sweet girl." He said.

"Hi." I blushed and said "Did you need to use the bathroom?"

"Actually I came looking for you." He said slowly as he pushed himself off the wall.

"Me?" I was confused.

"Yea, I wanted to check up on you. Make sure your ok."

"I'm fine." I replied automatically.

"You're not fine baby girl. You're a mess because of that idiot in there." He hooked his thumb in the direction of the piano room. "I told him to take things slow but I see that you are very torn too."

"Eeeh, I don't understand where you are going with this."

Jasper smiled and cupped my cheek "I'm just saying what I see. If you need someone to talk to I'm here. I'll talk to Edward and once more tell him to slow down." He stroked my cheek with his thumb and then turned and walked away.

Ok it was really weird and sweet at the same time. I didn't know what to make of it all but decided to ignore it for now.

I walked in the direction Jasper went and ended up in the living room. It was big and had a fireplace along with a big ass TV that was currently hooked up to the Wii and Emmet was playing Mario Kart.

"Little Balderina! Here to kick my ass?" he boomed.

I smiled "Oh Emmet would I dare?" we all laughed as I sat down on the couch to watch him and Jasper play. Edward was nowhere in sight.

We laughed and played for a while until we noticed that Alice had fallen asleep next to me. "I guess that's our cue to leave you guys." I said. Emmet bent down and picked his sister up and started walking toward the front door.

"Jasper man, thanks for a great night. Next time you come to us, Rose will call and set up a day." Emmet said.

Jasper smiled and said "That would be great. You take care of this little one and tell her to call me ya hear?" he gave our sleeping Alice a kiss on the cheek before giving Rose a hug and then he pulled me in for one.

"You hang in there ok, don't give up on my man. He'll call you." I nodded and said my thank you.

As we were leaving Edward came out from the music room looking dishelved as hell. "Sorry you guys, I kind of got lost in the music." He hugged Rose, waved to Emmet that was putting Alice in the car. Jasper was gone and Rose said "I'll see you in the car." Leaving me alone with Edward.

"Bella…" he whispered. "I've been in that room trying to give you some space. I'm sorry."

"Edward. Just don't."

He sighed deeply looking all kinds of sad and nodded.

"Can I call you? Maybe we can have lunch this week? I mean… Friends do lunch right?" he looked a little puzzled.

I laughed at that and said "Yes call me, we can go to lunch. I think we'll have to talk tomorrow about damage control before I go to work."

"Of course. I'll come by Rose and Em's tomorrow."

"Bye Edward." I turned to leave but he took my hand before I got out. He stroked his thumb over my wrist, sending tingles up my arm. Then he brought my hand up to his mouth and said "I don't like saying goodbye. Good night my beautiful Bella."

**AN: So what did you think? They're finally getting somewhere and she chickens out. Two steps forward three steps back. But that's what we love about these kids right?**


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Yeah i know i suck. Here's a little something for you lovelies. I'll post again this week. Sorry for the late update...**

CH 19

The following day I woke up with a headache. Must have been all that wine. I rolled over and grabbed my phone on the nightstand to check the time when I saw there was a text from Edward.

Involuntarily small butterflies started to fly in my stomach and a small smile crept up on my face.

**Goodmorning my fair Bella! Me and Jazz will be there for lunch. See you soon. xE**

He's such a dork. I checked the time and saw that I had slept until 11. _SHIT!_

I raced out of bed and in to the shower. When I was finished I ran down to the kitchen to get some coffee and an Advil.

"Well good morning sleeping beauty!" Emmet boomed as he stood in the kitchen making lunch. I grimaced at the loud sound of his voice.

"Jesus Emmet. Let's talk with our inside voice please."

Alice sat at the kitchen counter shooting daggers at her brother. Emmet laughed and said "Oh no ladies, you know the drill. If you expose me to giggling and girlstuff during your champagne evenings then I get to be as loud and obnoxious as I please the morning after."

Never, and I mean never make deals while under the influence of alcohol. They are always bad decisions and come to bite you in the ass years and years to come.

I went for the coffee and tried for the casual approach "So… When are Edward and Jasper coming over?"

Emmet groaned as Alice jumped up and looked stunned "What Jasper is coming? Why didn't you tell me? Oh my god oh my god! Look at me! I need to change! I need to shower and fix my hair! Oh god I have no time!" She started running around like a mad woman and I just shook my head.

"Why did you have to tell her! I wanted it to be a surprise!" Emmet whined.

"I'm going to kill you Emmet Cullen!" Alice shouted from upstairs.

We laughed and talked and I helped Emmet prepare lunch when we heard the doorbell ring. They were early.

Rose emerged from her study and went for the door.

"Hello boys, please come in." They both greeted her with a kiss to the cheek and handed over some pastries.

As they entered the kitchen Edwards eyes sought out mine and I blushed because of all the times to remember things I chose this moment to remember our heated kiss in the piano room.

"Hello Bella. You look lovely." Edward murmured as he approached me and kissed me on the cheek as well.

"Hi" I all but whispered.

"My sweet Bella. You seem to be in a better mood." Jasper enveloped me in a hug. He was very friendly and his aura just screamed of goodness. He gave me a kiss on the top of my head and I smiled up at him. "Hello Jasper, thank you for a lovely evening."

He smiled back "You're very welcome Ms Bella. Now where is the little fairy? I thought she would call?"

I laughed as I stepped out of his embrace. "I don't think she has fully come to her senses yet. Give her a minute and she'll be right down."

We all sat at the big dining table as I served lunch. As we were about to start eating Alice came barging down the stairs and flew in to the room and in to Jaspers arms. They were like magnets.

He gave her a kiss on the nose and they seemed to have some sort of moment. Edward who was sitting next to me leaned in and said "You know, all he could talk about yesterday was her and how he was going to marry her."

I gave Edward a shocked look. "Are you shitting me?"

He smiled and said "No. I guess when you know you just…know." He briefly let his eyes flicker down to my lips and it was then that I noticed that we were leaning in to each other. I backed up and excused myself and went in to the kitchen under the pretence of getting some water. As I stood with my blushing face in the fridge I took some deep breaths and gave myself a mental peptalk. If I wanted to be friends with Edward or even discover this thing between us I needed to keep my cool around him. But his mere presence was intoxicating, intimidating and thrilling. I didn't know if it was good or bad and I needed to analyze this.

After the last deep breath I closed the fridge and was startled by Rose standing and leaning against he cupboard behind the fridge door.

"Jesus Rose! You scared the shit out of me!"

"What's going on?"

"What?" I asked

"What's. Going. On?"

"I'm getting some water?"

"Don't be obtuse Bella, what's up between you and Edward? Every time he gets a little close you run away like he scorched you with a flame or something."

I sighed. She was right but oh so wrong. "I'm trying to keep my distance. His presence is unwanted and welcomed at the same time. I don't know what to think."

"Jesus Bella, just give yourself a break. Your head must be like a freaking computer if all you ever do is analyze shit! Live a fucking little! Both of you gravitate around each other like planets or magnets and yet you are fighting it with all you have." She sighed and took my face between her hands. "Bella, I feel the same about Emmet and I fought it too. But you can't fight what's meant to be. You just have to give in. Do you think you'll ever feel like this with anyone else? Do you think anyone else will send tingles up and down your body every time he touches you? If you know the answer then why wait? Because you think that the proper amount of time Edward has spent in the dog house hasn't passed? Or because you're afraid and want to keep him away?"

"Rose…" I said in awe. This beautiful and smart women had just called out all my issues just by looking at me. Tears started to pool in my eyes and I was on the verge of a breakdown.

"Take Edward up to your room, we'll be in the basement playing games. Talk, scream, fuck or run. But don't wait. Waiting is for pussies!" we both laughed and hugged at that and I thanked her.

"I will Rose. Thank you. You're a true sister and you know I love you right?"

"Oh mini me I love you too!" we hugged again and Alice came skipping in to the kitchen and said "Hey! I wanna get loved up too!" we enveloped her in our hug and I savored the moment. These girls were my family. I had no one else but these people in this house. Reneé was a flake and called when she needed money, Charlie was busy playing cop in Forks and they were good people but they could never love me and understand me like these girls did.

Now I had to embrace the love from Edward and give him mine in return.

**AN: ooooh ooooh what will happened next? I can tell you it will be EPOV. :D**


	20. Chapter 20

Ch 20

EPOV

I sat at the table a little stunned. She ran again. And this time I just whispered in her ear. What had I done now? I started to get up when Emmet grabbed my arm.

"Sit down bro. Let her breath." I obeyed my cousin, this was after all his home.

"I'll go" Rose said and got up from the table and went after Bella.

I sat and contemplated what I had done and what I should do when Emmet spoke up.

"She'll come around. Give her time"

I sighed. "How am I supposed to do that? I got her dragged in my mess, the media knows she's everything to me. It's not like I can or even want to disappear again. If I talk to her she freaks out and runs!" I banged my head in the table "And I don't know how to be without her. Even if that is what she wanted I wouldn't know how to."

"Dude, calm the fuck down and stop thinking about it. Take a fucking step back and stop letting your emotions rule how you act. Give. Her. Space. Let her come to you."

"Emmet, I understand what you are saying but it obviously doesn't work."

"It will work you dork. Stop rushing it. It's been what three days?"

"Shit you're right, I know you're right. I'll try."

Emmet clapped my shoulder when Jasper came to sit down next to me.

He had a determined look on his face when he spoke to Emmet.

"Emmet. I think I'm in love with your sister and I would like your permission to take her out on a date tonight."

Both me and Emmet gaped at Jasper with our mouths open.

"Dude. What?" Emmet said.

"I would like your permission to…" Jasper started but was interrupted by Emmet " I heard damn well what you said, but why?"

Jasper looked a little shocked. "Emmet, I'm not like your ordinary Joe. I'm a very focused man. I am pretty sure that I'll marry your sister one day because she's just so goddamn special and I think I love her. And I want to do things the right way. Dating her is one thing and therefore I am asking your permission. When it comes to marriage, I'll one day have this conversation with your father."

I didn't even know what to say.

"Ok, you two need to stop doing the shit they do in Hollywood. Listen Jazz, you're a nice guy and my sister has always been a bit of a free spirit" I snorted at that. Alice was a free spirit alright.

Emmet continued "But she's a grown woman, she has taken her own decisions even in kinder garden so if she wants to date you, she'll date you with or without my permission. Since it seems to mean a lot to you I'll give you my permission. But understand this" Emmet pointed a finger at Jasper "If you hurt her, I'll do what I have always done. I will kick your ass. I'll kill you and hide the body. Even as kids she would fight her own battles but I always beat up the kid that hurt her. This will be no different. Hollywood actor or not. Do I make myself clear?"

Emmet is a really big guy, he could scare the shit out of the worst thug on the street. So when he threatens you, you get scared shitless. But not Jasper, he just smiled and looked pleased.

"Yes Emmet, my friend. We have a deal."

They shook hands and man hugged. It was a weird sight. At that Rose and Alice came out of the kitchen challenging us to a game of Wii. Everybody accepted and they started walking towards what I assumed was the basement.

Rose turned to me and stopped me in my tracks by putting a hand on my chest.

"You stay here. Bella wants to talk to you." She gave me a cryptic smile and left with the others.

I turned around toward the kitchen, curious about what she would want to talk about. Maybe she didn't want to see me again?

And in the doorway to the kitchen was Bella, my beautiful Bella. She stood with her arms crossed over her chest and looked all kinds of nervous.

"Hi" she said.

I stood a couple of feet from her "Hi." I said back. Staying in place, wanting to give her the space she needed.

"Could we…um…talk?" she asked.

"Of course. What do you need to talk about?" I asked in a quiet voice. Dreading her answer.

"I think… could you come with me?" she turned a little as if ready to lead the way.

"Sure." I didn't know where she wanted me to go but I would follow her anywhere.

She started climbing the stairs and I hesitantly followed her. At the end of the stairs she stood before a door and turned her head a little but didn't look at me.

"This is my room whenever I stay here." With that she opened the door and went inside. I sucked in a breath. She wanted me to follow her in to the bedroom?

I stepped inside the door, she was already sitting on the bed. "Close the door behind you" she said. I obeyed but stood with my back leaning against the door. As far away from her as possible.

"Edward." She gave me a small smile. "Why are you all the way over there?"

Now I was confused. I was doing what everyone told me to do. "I'm trying to give you some space."

"Edward." She said patiently "If I wanted some space would I lead you back to my bedroom?" she looked up at me from under her lashes and smiled.

"I don't know Bella. What do you want?"

She exhaled a shuddering breath and looked down at her lap.

"I wanted to talk to you. I had a talk with Rose and she helped me realize a couple of things." She paused for a while. I wanted her to continue at the same time I was terrified of what she was going to say.

"What did you realize?"

She looked at me again "She helped me realize that I am fighting the inevitable."

"As in?" I whispered. My heart stopped beating.

"Us." She whispered back.

I blinked and tried to focus. "How do you mean?" she gave me a small smile and stood from the bed. She took a step closer to me.

"I mean Edward…. How did you put it. When you know, you just know?"

"Jesus Bella know what?" She was talking in riddles and I was starting to get frustrated, if she wanted nothing to do with me she would have to be more specific.

She sighed and smiled as she came to stand right in front of me. I stood with my back pressing against the door as if I was a cornered animal. Her proximity was unsettling, I wanted to attack her, kiss her senseless and make her mine again.

Suddenly she was pressing herself against me and whispered "Know what I want." And then she kissed me. Her soft lips were sucking on mine and first I couldn't react, I was afraid that I was hallucinating. But when she kept up her nibbling I nibbled back, and then I put my hand on her hip and squeezed. The other hand I put behind her neck and caressed her with my thumb. This was surreal. Bella was in my arms again. After all these years. And she said…. Wait what did she say?

I pulled back a little and kissed her check and started to make a path down to her ear and neck "What do you want Bella?"

She moaned softly before saying "You. I want you."

"Jesus Christ." I kissed her again with all the force I had. I literally attacked the girl, pressing her back against me and holding her neck in a tight grip. I went down her throat and said "You have to know this. If we do this, if we start this right now. There is no going back. I'll never let you go. I'll never stop."

"Don't stop Edward…" she moaned. I wasn't satisfied with that answer. She needed to know what she was getting herself in to.

"No Bella. I'm not talking about making love. I'm talking about a life together. I want you." I kissed her throat "To be mine" and her ear "Forever." I stopped and looked her in the eyes. She sighed and pulled back.

Shit! This was just sexual for her. I was just a release.

"Edward come sit with me." She patted the bed next to her.

I took a deep breath trying to get my raging hormones under control and sat down next to her.

"I think you're right, we need to talk." She took my hand in hers and I just reveled in the energy coming from our joint hands.

"I think I have been afraid of letting go of the past but Rose helped me realize that I was pushing you away not because I needed to appraise the situation but because I was terrified of you leaving me again. She told me I needed to let go and just go with it. Why waste time?"

"So what this means is that..?"

"This means I think we should start over. If the magazines are going to gossip, let them gossip. But I want to try again with you. I know we were both young and stupid but there is something there that I have never felt before and I doubt I will ever feel with anybody else."

"So you…you'll be mine? You'll have a relationship with me?"

"I'd like to try" she whispered as she looked me in the eyes.

"Jesus Bella" I crushed her to me in a hug so fierce I thought I may have broken her. She laughed and said "But let's make some groundrules."

I took her hand and kissed her knuckles "Anything you want is yours."

"I don't want you to talk about me to the press and I want us to keep a low profile for now." I started to nibble on her wrist and the inside of her elbow.

"As you wish. But if people notice how deliriously happy I am then I can't stop them from making assumptions." She laughed at that

"Fine but please try to keep my name out of it."

"I'll see what I can do." I kept on nibbling her arm and got up to her throat "Now as much as I would like to have sex with you right now, right here, I don't think this is the right place."

"I agree." She moaned

I pulled back but gave her a kiss on the mouth and said "So what's our story?"

"Our story?" She looked confused.

"Yes, what do we tell the press? I don't know if I'm comfortable denying us."

"Uuum. How about no comments?"

"It's not going to work if we keep seeing each other." I said "And then we have to talk about security. I want you to have a body guard to and from work and whenever you go out. I have a guy that I trust."

"Edward. I'm going to keep on living like I always have."

"And I'm not saying you shouldn't. I'm just saying that the rats can get upclose and personal and I want you to be protected."

"Fine, I want Emmet." She huffed.

"Deal." I grinned. "Was this our first compromise as a couple?"

She grinned back "I guess it was."

"I think this calls for a celebratory kiss!" I attacked her face while she laughed and we tumbled around in bed for an hour just kissing and laughing. It was pure bliss. Not even like coming home but like going to heaven.

**AN: AAAAAAW, finally huh?**


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: Ok, here's a new chappie. Hope you likey. Yeah so my rhymes ain't that good. Tell me what you think and i'll love you forever. I even might send you a teaser. Just maybe. Try me.**

Ch 21

BPOV.

Mondays. I freaking hated Mondays. Even if I now officially was Edward Cullens girlfriend. Again. It was definitely a perk but the downside that came with it was hard to handle. I thought I knew, but I didn't know until I was attacked outside Em and Roses place. I was photographed while getting in and out of the car, I could hear their cameras clicking even though they were behind gates. I didn't understand how they could find me this interesting.

Outside of the building where we worked the papparazzis were camped outside and ran after us in the underground garage. Emmet cursed and made some calls and immediately the security ushered them outside.

As I sat back and tried to process this mega madness Emmet turned in his seat and looked at me "You sure you can handle this Squirt?"

"Yes Emmet, I'll have to learn to live with it." I sighed.

"Ok, I'll drop you ladies off and then I'll be back with lunch. Call me if you want something and call me if anything happens. As long as you stay inside the building you're safe."

Me and Rose climbed out of the car and went about our day. Edward called several times. And texted even more. I thought I would feel suffocated but instead I felt like a teenager again. It was fun and it brought a smile on my face.

**R U ok? How did it go? Let me know. x E**

**I'm fine. At work. Call u later. xB **

**Ok. Miss you. – E**

**Already? – B**

**Always. – E**

This of course made me giggle and Rose shot me a look that clearly stated she thought I was being ridiculous.

I stuck my tongue at her and kept on working. Alice was in the same state of bliss as I was and we giggled like schoolgirls when we were alone. In the studio though we were professionals and we focused on our task.

Today was like any other day, skinny models, bad light and pimples. But we figured it all out. At lunch Emmet came barging in with food and Edward in tow. He surprised the shit out of me by sitting in my office. And twirling in my chair.

"Shit, hi!" I smiled.

He stood up and I went over to him and embraced him. "I'm so glad you're here." I said in to his chest.

"Me too." He kissed my hair. "I just couldn't stay away."

"I didn't want you to." I smiled up at him and he kissed me on the lips. It soon turned into something more and we were making out in my office. Pretty hot if you ask me. The fun stopped when my stomach grumbled and we both laughed.

"Good thing I brought actual food huh?"

"Mmm" I answered as my eyes devoured the food.

We sat in silence and ate and talked. It was nice.

"Don't you have somewhere you need to be? Or do you have a day off?" I asked

"No I cleared my schedule for the time being."

"What? Why?" I asked in shock.

"I want to spend time with you." He murmured as he held my chin and wiped some sauce from the corner of my mouth.

"Edward." I was a little pissed."Don't you think that it's a little suspicious that you clear your schedule at the same time the media finds out about your new girlfriend?"

"I don't care." He shrugged.

"Edward!" I scolded. "This is your carrier! You have to be there for your fans and…." He interrupted my ramblings by kissing me.

"I said I don't care."

"Well I do!" I said.

He sighed at this and looked as if this was something he was tired of speaking of. "Bella, we just got together. I want to spend time with you and I would never ask you to take time of your job because I know our jobs are totally different. I can take time off because it's my time. And I chose to do it so it's nothing to discuss."

I sighed. I guess he was right about what he said. It was his choice. At least it wasn't the other way around, that he tried to make me take some days off or that he ran away and blamed his job.

We ate in silence after that and it was lovely. Edward was funny, he joked around and he was affectionate. I had never felt as adored and precious as I did when I was with Edward. It could be the smallest things he noticed, like how I had this stray hair in my eyebrow and he thought it was the cutest thing. Or how I sat with my left leg folded under my butt when I sat.

Lunch went by all too fast and before I knew it Alice was knocking on my door and saying that my next shoot was up in 10 minutes.

"Oh shit, I gotta go!" I jumped up and kissed Edward quickly and tried to pull away but he held me by my waist and deepened the kiss until I got all hot and bothered.

He released me but gave me a quick peck on the mouth "God I love your lips." He pecked me on the lips again and said good bye. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob and turned to me

"I was hoping you could come by my place later this evening. We could watch a movie or something." He was trying for casual but it didn't really work for him. I smiled at him and said

"We'll see, I have tons of work to do, I try to finish every day or else shit piles up and then my weekends are ruined. I'll call you, ok?"

"You could work at my place you know…" he trailed off. I laughed and went to the door to kiss him and said "I'll call you." He grabbed me and gave me a long, passionate kiss before he said "I just want to be with you, wherever that may be. Call me please and I'll miss you until you do."

He opened the door and as he stepped out the model for the next shoot came down the hall. Tanya Denali. I had totally forgot about her and Edward being a thing a while back. I had forgot to ask him about it.

And here she was in all her glory. Edward froze at the sight of her and she perked up when she saw him.

"Edwaaard! Oh my gosh it's been so long!" She strolled up to Edward and kissed him on the lips. _What. The. Fuck._

I saw how Edward tried to peel her off and stepped back. "Tanya. Hi. Uuuuh."

"I haven't seen you in forever and then I hear you have a girlfriend, but that can't be true since you told me that you don't do the girlfriend thing." She laughed at her own joke but it was forced, she was fishing for information.

Edward replied with another "eeeeh well… I…" he looked at me for help.

Oh great Mr song writer always out of words. I guess I had to step in.

"Ms. Denali it's a pleasure to meet you." I extended my hand for her to shake and she refocused on me and her eyes frosted over when she saw me. "Who are you?" she asked in an almost angry tone.

"I'm Bella Swan, the photographer doing this shoot." She immediately perked up and said "Oh, well hello, my assistant will tell you what I need. Laurent!" She called for the assistant and dismissed me and focused on Edward again.

_Bitch please. I'm bringing out the big guns._

"I'm sorry." She looked at me again "Talking to assistants is not part of my job description, but your assistant can talk to my assistant. Now I have to get everything set up." I turned to Edward and in a very deliberate move gave him a kiss on the cheek and said "I'll call you later babe. Let's definitely meet at your place." I winked at him and he grinned a grin so big it was about to split his mouth in two.

"Please do, love. I'll miss you." Oh now he was just showing off. I refused to kiss him on the mouth since the shedevil had had her mouth there not a minute ago. He better brush his teeth first or something.

I left a smiling Edward and a fuming Tanya in the hallway and went off to the studio. I asked Angela to deal with Laurent and I started setting everything up. Alice came dancing in and asked what the hell was wrong with Tanya Denali since she had a shitfit in wardrobe.

"Beats me sugar. She maybe needs to make some lemonade with all them lemons."

"Oh you are evil. Pure evil. Tell me you didn't."

I looked at her with the most innocent look "Did what Alice dear?"

She grinned and laughed and high fived me. I didn't even have to tell her what I had done. She knew me so well.

The photoshoot with Tanya wasn't very pleasant and she wasn't being very cooperative but she didn't know that it only gave me more satisfaction the worse she behaved. At the end she came up to me and said "You know he'll just dump your ass when he's finished fucking you." The only thing that hurt about that statement was the picture I got of her and Edward but I held my pokerface and shrugged "Well then I'll just have to keep my legs closed won't I? Take care Tanya."

I felt kind of sorry for her but that didn't mean that I felt sorry for Edward. He had some explaining to do tonight...

**AN: ooohoooohh... Edward's in trouble. **


	22. Chapter 22

Ch 22

EPOV

Crap crap crap and fuckety fuck fuck. Of course everything was going great and then the shit had to hit the fan.

Not even one day of pure bliss until someone took a dump on my sunshine. This someone being Tanya Denali. Goddamn her and her laxatives.

I was pacing my livingroom floor, waiting for Bella to arrive. I would have to bring up another woman into our conversation. Why had I been so goddamn stupid to even get involved with that woman? Oh lord, what if she said something to Bella?

I started hyperventilating for a while and then the bell rang. Showtime…

"Hi" I said quietly as I opened the door.

"Hi" Bella said as she entered my home. No kiss nothing. She was pissed.

She sat on the couch and waited for me to come sit with her.

"Would you like something to drink? Or eat?"

"No thank you Edward. I would like to know what other whores you fucked so I can at least act professional around them!" she spat.

"Yeah, I think we'll need a drink for that." I brought us two glasses of whiskey and sat down next to her. "So you know now about Tanya. Let me explain everything please."

"Go on."

"Tanya's modeling career was not going so well. She needed a boost, some recognition and it turns out we have the same PR firm." I looked at Bella tentatively searching her if she understood me.

"So they approached me and asked me to date her and I agreed."

"So your relationship with her was fake?"

I shifted in my seat, this was such an uncomfortable discussion "Well sort of. It was started on false pretences, but I think Tanya fell in love with me."

"You think?"

"Well I know. She said so. And she must have thought that it was a real relationship or maybe she wanted to fake it some more because she wanted to move in here."

"Oh god, she was here. In this house? Oh god did you do it on this couch?" Bella jumped up and started pacing the floor, much like I had a couple minutes ago.

"Bella! Please just listen. She was here, for dates. But I never had sex with her in this house." She stopped dead in her tracks.

"But you did have sex with her?" she looked me in the eyes and I knew if I lied she would know.

"Yes." I whispered.

Bella slumped down on the couch and covered her eyes with her arm. "I knew it, but hearing you say it hurt a little. It shouldn't. I mean I haven't been an exact angel…"

"STOP!" I screamed. "Jesus, I really don't want to know."

"Well I do. Tell me who else." She turned her head and looked at me.

So I told her about all the women over the years. Some of them were attempts to get her out of my head, some were staged and fake just like Tanya, and some were friends that kept me company and never asked for more. As I told her I felt cleansed, I wanted her to know everything that I had done. Eventually we moved on in to the kitchen and I started heating some of the dinner the housekeeper had made.

"So that's it? That's a long list you got Cullen." She finally said.

"Well if you put it in comparison to me being a rockstar I am actually closer to being gay than straight. I should have 5 different babymommas by now." She laughed and it made my heart lighter. As she went to the fridge I stepped up behind her and said in her ear "Can I kiss you now?" she turned so abruptly that she almost lost her balance.

She searched my eyes and I could see her battling some internal war.

"Don't fight me Bella, I want you. I want to be with you." I stepped closer and rubbed my nose against hers "I want to kiss you" I gave her a little peck on the mouth but held my mouth close to hers. I could feel her relaxing in my arms and she sighed. I took that as my sign and leaned in and kissed her.

This womans lips, I can't describe them, it's like nothing I've ever known and yet they were familiar. I stroked her body with my hands and groaned. My mind had memorized 16-year old Bellas body, this Bella had curves and she was softer and a little rounder. So much more feminine and it was driving me mad.

The kiss turned into full out making out and groping. I pressed her against the fridge as I kept kissing her but started to explore her neck and collarbone. She was just delicious and I gave her openmouth kisses over her throat.

She gripped my hair and pulled, fuck it was hot. She moaned my name and I groaned because I was hard as just hell hearing her. It was getting more and more heated, I put my hands on her ass and squeezed, aiming for her hot centre. She opened her legs a bit and I stood on my knees and pulled her blouse up to kiss her stomach, I was aiming for her jeans button when her hand stopped me. I looked up and saw raw desire in her eyes "Edward, not here. Not like this."

That gave me a cold shower and I put my head to her stomach while trying to calm down. She was also breathing heavily and stroked my hair. "Shit baby, I'm sorry. I just get carried away around you."

She gave a small laugh and I looked up at her. My beautiful Bella, the love of my life. How I loved and adored this woman. I gave her stomach a last kiss and then I stood on my feet.

"Let's eat. I'm starving." She giggled and let me lead her back to the dining room where I served her dinner and we had a wonderful time with some wine and a short makeout session in the living room.

"I think I might be a little drunk." Bella giggled.

I arched my eyebrow. This could be fun. "Oh really?" I pushed her down on the couch and stayed on top of her, leaning down on my elbows. "This has some potential. I could take advantage of you." I said as I nuzzled her neck. "My lord you smell so fucking good." I inhaled a deep breath and felt slightly high for a second.

"Edward." She whispered. I looked up in to her eyes and saw her looking back at me with eyes trying to tell me something.

"Yes baby?"

"Will you play something for me?"

I looked at her with a stunned expression, I did not expect her to say that.

"Now?"

She nodded her head. What was I supposed to do, I can't say no to this girl.

"Sure babe, what do you want to hear?"

"Whatever you want to play for me" she said in a low voice.

I got up and went to get my guitar. I already knew what I would play. I had written so many songs for her but I had to play the first one I wrote for her. She would understand if I sang this.

I sat down in front of her and cleared my throat "So, this is the first song I wrote for you. I hoped that if you heard it then you would understand. Ok here goes…"

Talk to me softly  
There is something in your eyes  
Don't hang your head in sorrow  
And please don't cry  
I know how you feel inside I've  
I've been there before  
Somethin is changin' inside you  
And don't you know

Don't you cry tonight  
I still love you baby  
Don't you cry tonight  
Don't you cry tonight  
There's a heaven above you baby  
And don't you cry tonight

Give me a whisper  
And give me a sign  
Give me a kiss before you  
tell me goodbye  
Don't you take it so hard now  
And please don't take it so bad  
I'll still be thinkin' of you  
And the times we had...baby

And don't you cry tonight  
Don't you cry tonight  
Don't you cry tonight  
There's a heaven above you baby  
And don't you cry tonight

And please remember that I never lied  
And please remember  
how I felt inside now honey  
You gotta make it your own way  
But you'll be alright now sugar  
You'll feel better tomorrow  
Come the morning light now baby

And don't you cry tonight  
And don't you cry tonight  
And don't you cry tonight  
There's a heaven above you baby  
And don't you cry  
Don't you ever cry  
Don't you cry tonight  
Baby maybe someday  
Don't you cry  
Don't you ever cry  
Don't you cry  
Tonight

As the last notes were played I looked up in to her eyes and saw her crying. I put the guitar aside and stood on my knees between her legs.

"Shhh baby, don't cry. I'm sorry."

"No I'm sorry, I'm ruining the moment. I never understood that song until now. I always thought you wrote it for someone else or that if it was for me it was to tell me that you dumped me."

"No baby, not at all, it was me trying to tell you that I was sorry."

"I'll have to listen through your songs and just try to make out the real message." She smiled.

"I'd love to help you if you want me to." I whispered.

"No… I want to try myself." She leaned in and kissed me and I kissed her back because what else was I supposed to do?

She broke the kiss all too soon for my liking but she looked at me with terrified eyes and I said "Baby what is it?"

She took my face in her hands and said:

"Edward. I love you."

**AN: So no reviews for the last chapter. It's making me doubt myself. **


	23. Chapter 23

**I am so fucking sorry for the delay, was bitching and i just lost track of time! Totally unacceptable! Don't hate me.**

**I will post more often. Cross my heart.**

CH 23

**Everything is owned by Stephanie Meyer. I just play.**

BPOV at 16 years old

"Did you like your surprise?" he asked me.

I turned my head and looked at him and nodded. His megawatt smile made my insides melt.

"I loved it." I said.

We were lying on our backs in our meadow, watching the stars. Edward had given me books and written me a beautiful poem. But this was so much more. This was another memory with Edward that I would cherish. He had to sneak me out of the window and we ran down the street to where he had parked Emmets car and came here. It was bittersweet since I knew he was leaving but he didn't talk about it. So I just let him pretend and I pretended along with him.

It would be my 17th birthday in a couple of weeks. Edward wanted to celebrate it now so I assumed that he wouldn't be here for my birthday. It hurt but I tried to ignore it. I had never been as loved and cherished as I was now, I wanted to enjoy it for as long as it was going to last. A very naïve approach but it was my way of coping. I think I got it from Charlie.

"Bella." I snapped out of my reverie by Edwards voice.

"Hmmm?" I turned and looked at him and he stroked my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Do you know how much I love you? How much you mean to me?" he whispered.

"I know how much I love you." I answered. That was the truth. I loved Edward more than anything. I didn't understand what Edward saw in me. I was just Bella, nothing special at all.

"Stop that. What I see in you is so much more than what the eyes can see. It's as if I can feel your soul, your beauty is nothing compared to what I feel in here." He took my hand and put it over his heart.

"I love you Bella. So very much. Always."

I leaned in and kissed him on the mouth. It was such a novelty, he was the first boy I had ever kissed and yet I was getting so much better at it. He never refused me when I leaned in for a kiss and he never asked for more than I felt comfortable giving. His sweet words and his thoughtfulness made me want to give him something in return. I sat up and turned my upper body so I could see him.

"Edward?"

"Yes Bella?"

"I want to give you something. Something special, so you know how much I love you."

"I know you love me Bella. I don't need anything material to know that."

"No…" this was just awkward. "I want to give you…me."

He smiled at that and said "Silly Bella. I already have you."

Ok safe to say that he didn't understand what I was trying to say. As they say, actions speak louder than words so I thought I should show him. I leaned in to kiss him and he responded as he always did. He took my face in his hands and as he kissed me back, I turned a little and hitched my leg over his so I was straddling him. I felt him stiffen, I had never been this brazen before and he must have been shocked but then he moaned a little and I felt his kiss heat up. I was doing it right I think.

I lay on top of him with my knees bent and I could feel his hands roam my body. They finally stopped on my ass and he squeezed and pressed me down and that's when I felt his erection. I groaned which made Edward curse "Shit!" under his breath and roll us over, he started to nibble my collarbone and neck when I started pulling his shirt in an attempt to get it off. Edward stopped what he was doing and looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"Bella why are you trying to take my clothes off?"

"It is the next thing to do….when you…?" I blushed scarlet and even in the moonlit night he could see it.

"Bella love, I don't need this." So he finally got it.

"But I want this. Please. I want us to give this to each other. I want it to be you."

He leaned in so he was laying on top of me. "Are you sure love?" he ran his nose along mine.

"Yes. I want you."

"Bella..." was all he said and then he was kissing me again and it felt good, too good and I was starting to feel it in various parts of my body. A reflex reaction was to push my pelvis up to meet him and this made Edward groan and intensify his kiss and his roaming hands. His left hand found its way under my shirt and he stroked my ribs. It was an electrifying emotion but I wanted so much more.

"Edward please…" I moaned.

"Jesus, Bella. I love you." His hand found my breast and he stroked me outside of my bra. It made me groan and open my legs and hitch them over Edwards hips. This made his groin come in contact with my centre and we both groaned at this. He pushed back a little and it gave the sweetest sensation. Edward let go of my breast and let his hand roam down to my ass and then he started to go down my thigh and then up under my shorts. He stroked my opening outside of my panties and this made me groan so loud I thought I would scare birds away.

He let one finger stroke the hem of my panties until he took the courage to put in inside of me. The sounds coming out of us both were obscene and all these sensations were fogging up my brain. He started moving his finger in and out of me in a slow move and then he added another finger while letting his thumb stroke my clitoris. I started to moan and squirm under him so he sped up his movements while nibbling my collarbone.

A warm sensation was starting to spread in my lower stomach and down to where Edward was touching me. It felt as if I was starting to tighten up in my muscles and suddenly I felt a release so good and sweet that I moaned out load and arched my back. Edward didn't stop until I could feel it subside. And then he just kissed me on the lips before he started going lower. He took hold of my shorts and pulled them down, then he reached for my t-shirt and pulled it over my head so I was just laying in my bra and panties. Edward took his shirt of and it made me stare in wonder. He was so beautiful and hot. I had seen him without his shirt when we were swimming but this situation just made it feel so sensual.

He then got up and took his jeans of and took something out of his pocket. I assumed it was the condom. I was glad he had thought of it since I didn't. I could see his erection through his boxers and got a little intimidated by it.

He lay down next to me and I felt insecure, when he was on top of me he couldn't see as much as he could right now. Edward stroked my breasts and ribs and my stomach, he looked as If he was trying to memorize every inch of my body.

"You're so amazingly beautiful." We started kissing again and I got a little nervous since I kind of knew what was coming.

"Relax love, I'll stop if you want me to."

"No. Don't stop." Edward smiled at this and kept on kissing me. He positioned himself between my legs and pulled my panties of with one hand. I just focused on his kisses and let him do the rest. As his kisses intensified I started to feel myself get wet again, he stroked my pussy and touched my clitoris after a moment of him kissing my breast and his fingers stroking me he pulled his head away and ripped open the pack for the condom, he then put it on and positioned himself between my legs. He didn't do anything just looked me in the eyes and asked if I was ready, I nodded and he started kissing me again.

I hitched my legs over his hips and he pushed a little, it felt too big but he pulled back and pushed in again. I understood that he wanted me to get used to his size so I once again focused on the kisses.

"I love you, I'll always love you." He whispered and kissed me again. Just as the kiss was getting heated he pushed himself in me and we both groaned. I could feel the stretch and it kind of hurt a little but it wasn't that bad. He kept pushing inside until I could feel his pelvis against my thighs.

"Are you ok baby?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Does it hurt?"

"No, don't stop. Please." I told him. He groaned my name and pulled out before he pushed himself slowly back in. I could feel some stinging but it wasn't too bad.

He started pushing in and pulling out and we kept on kissing. He kept his hands around my face as he kissed me and whispered that he loved me over and over again. I was lost in Edward, in his movements, in the sensation he was giving me, it felt so good being this connected with him, giving myself to him and taking him in.

His movements kept getting faster and faster and even though yeah, it hurt like hell for a while I heard Edwards moans and him saying that it felt so fucking good and I thought that some pain was nothing in the greater picture. I was giving Edward pleasure. He liked what we were doing, and so did I.

After a while Edward gave four sharp pushes and then he groaned and collapsed on me. He turned his head and gave me small kisses on the cheek and mouth and then the other cheek.

"I love you Bella. So fucking much. You are everything to me. Never forget that…"

"I love you too Edward..."

Even through the love i felt i knew what was coming. Edward was leaving...

**AN; I am really truly sorry for the delay. Hope you liked :) **


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

EPOV

I just looked at her stunned as hell. "Bella.."

She didn't let me continue because she attacked me and we ended up on the floor with her straddling me and bending down and kissing me. Fuck this was pure bliss, she was so gorgeous and this beautiful girl loved me.

I took hold of her face and kissed her back with all that I had. "God Bella, I love you so fucking much."

That night Bella got picked up by Emmet and she went home to his place. I was left alone and thought that I would check up with my work. I had ten voicemails. All from my agent Aro. Very powerful man in Hollywood. Also very gay, but he helped me immensely and he took good care of me.

"Oh I know this is not THE Edward Cullen, calling me back."

"But it is. The one and only. Your star client."

"Sweetie if you think you're my biggest client then you're not very well informed. I keep you because I used to like you. Right now? Not so much."

"Aro, I'm sorry for not calling back. I have been….busy."

"Oh sweetstuff I know how busy you have been. Unlike you, I AM well informed. Isabella Swan left your house a half hour ago."

"How in the hell did you…."

"Don't question my methods Eddie, we have had this discussion. Now let's talk business."

Aro was flamboyant but his business mind was shrewd and a deadly weapon. He had powerful connections and you didn't want to be on his bad side.

"What's up Aro?"

"Edward, what is this I hear that you are taking time off?"

"Yeah, I felt it was needed."

"Are you sick honey?"

"No."

"Is your mom or dad sick?"

"Well no."

"THEN WHY THE HELL DO YOU GET OFF MAKING DECISIONS WITHOUT CONSOULTING ME?"

"Jesus Aro my ear!"

"Your ear? Next time it'll be your ass Cullen. What were you thinking?"

I sighed… He was going to kill me.

"I just got Bella back. I want to spend time with her and be here so I can enjoy this. I know I'll have to go back out there and I fully intend to. But I just need some time off."

"That's sweet hon, but never make these kind of decisions without checking with me. I had to cancel a lot of stuff and it was things that you had promised to attend months and months ago. Like the MTV Music awards. You are nominated for a couple of categories. It's rude not to show up."

"Shit, I totally forgot. I was supposed to present an award there too. Fuck, I'm sorry Aro."

The next hour we went over my schedule and debated on what kind of things I could cancel and what kind of things I had to attend and perform. My schedule wasn't packed. But it wasn't as open as I had liked it to be. After the conversation I saw that I had a text from Bella.

**Hey, I'm in bed now. Thanx for tonight. ILY.**

**Anytime love. Can I stop by 4 lunch? I need to talk 2 u.**

**Sure. Just come by work. See you tomorrow.**

**I love you 2. Always.**

I think me and Bella had some things to discuss.

The following day Emmet picked me up and we went by some Italian place bringing back some salads for the ladies.

"Man, I don't know what's up with Rose. She has been acting really weird."

Well this is new. Emmet and me, talking about girls.

"How do you mean weird?" I asked.

"She's been crying a lot, and she's kind of distant you know."

"No I don't. Rose loves you, you two adore each other. Stop fussing and talk to her."

"Yeah maybe I should." But he didn't look convinced.

"Hey babe." Bella said as she spotted us coming out of the elevator. The endearment made me smile. This was for real.

"Hey love. Let's have lunch shall we?" She waved to Emmet and let me lead her out of there. As I closed the door behind us I took Bellas hand and pulled her back to my chest. I inhaled her sweet scent as I sniffed her hair and gave her a hug.

"Mmmm I missed you."

She laughed at this and pulled away. Probably hungry for the salad I had brought her. As we got comfortable I thought of asking her about what Emmet had mentioned.

"Hey, have you noticed anything weird with Rosalie?"

"What? Weird how?"

"I dunno, Emmet told me she was being weird and he didn't know why. I think he thinks that she's cheating on him."

"WHAT? He said that?"

"No he didn't say it, but I told him that she loves him and he should talk to her. But have you noticed her being emotional or something?"

Bella considered this for a moment before speaking "I did actually catch her crying in the bathroom ones. But I thought maybe she had a fight with Emmet or something."

We were quiet for a while. I had lost touch with my cousins trying to stay away. I had lost so much with my own stupidity. And now I had to bring more bad news.

"You said you wanted to talk to me about something?" Bella asked as if she could read my mind.

"Yeah." I shifted uncomfortably and took a deep breath. "I talked to my agent yesterday and I guess I'm not as free as I thought I was. There are some… commitments that I need to attend."

"Oh." Was all she said.

"Most of them are nothing in particular. But for some of them I would really like to… ask you to come with me."

"Oh." She said again.

"I mean, it's regular stuff like awards and fundraising concerts and stuff like that, but I would really love it if you came with me."

"Awards?"

"Are you going to say more than one word at a time?" she was making me very nervous. I knew it was a shitty situation but if she didn't want to go, I wouldn't force her.

"But if we go together… Everyone will know." She finally said. And it fucking broke my heart, was she ashamed of being with me? It must have shown on my face because she quickly added "It's not that I don't want people knowing. It's just that I thought we would stay on the down low for a while."

I sighed and dragged my fingers thru my air. "Bella, if you want privacy then you are with the wrong person. I don't care if the whole world knows. I want everybody to know that you are mine and that I am yours. If you think it's too soon I understand but I would love to have you by my side."

She looked a little stunned so I thought I would let her process this for a while. "I'll go and leave you to consider this. I gotta make some phonecalls and I'll be back shortly." I gave her a kiss on the top of her head and left the room.


End file.
